Elucidating Questions

A few stray wisps of cloud

In this sky of mine tonight

I wish I knew the next verse of this song I’m singing before it comes

What a mess the word is

A colossal mess

Still running

Still doing this thing for whatever reason

You couldn’t fathom the worlds I’ve created

And yet I’m still this odd shape

Not particularly something

Just like a blob

It’s a long way from home

This strange world

Should I say, at least I have a name?

Not the right one, I’m sure

Without a hint

Without a trace of proof

It’s true this world tries to tell you that love is something everyone finds

It’s true that’s a lie

Is the true name of my beloved simply the unknown name of the Universe itself?

Knowing no human has ever understood me

Perhaps all I can search for understanding is divinity

The being

I wish I could meet

But here we are met

Not like I can understand

In ways I’ll never follow

I truly am only introduced to the Universe

Greetings have been exchanged

Does it irk you that I need something else?

Wishing a single whisper could cure this world its ills

I wonder who I’m shooting?

In this moment of 確かめる

But my heart knows

I feel the shot

If a reply comes does it mean I’m not alone?

Who

If I could attain it

The simple answer

Come fighting back then

Who are you and do you even know?

The weight of the things I don’t say

Setting my brain outside my body for a bit

I can go back and observe it and think about what it means

I wish this was a world for me

Where things go right enough to get by

With someone to share it with

How do you know?

I ask Arcturus who I’ve been having a quiet conversation with

My eyes, the old man replies

Oh, yes, I forget you’re all just giant eyes

You could say no one’s there

But then again I can’t

Too radical

Too out of this world

Oh hi

You’d walk in right now

Life is funny

I didn’t mean for any of this to happen

Of course not

Crafty spirit

I don’t know if there ever will be a place for me here

I don’t know if there ever was

I’d like to hope it’s not just going to be me and my Hope Spirit

Just us

今までの事忘れたら

信じるかも

I’m still daring the Universe to come prove me wrong

So, from the rabid internet, in the past twenty four hours

Women can be good at things until they’re not white, at which point they must be men

Being born with a vagina doesn’t make you a woman (what a relief)

We would rather see men hit a woman than a strong woman hit another strong (allegedly, ACAB) woman even if it’s in a sports capacity

White woman tears, as usual, will bring them out in a great showing.

Europeans think they’re better than North America meanwhile there are people in the UK and Spain hitching on for the transphobia

Like, whatever man, you think you’re so superior and that only proves than you can’t possibly be

It is dangerous to be anything other than the prescription of woman

I keep thinking about the athlete, I’d be losing my mind

It’s really unfortunate

This need to police what is and isn’t

Just let people be

And apparently we’re just going to blindly trust what a Russian agency said

Sure, no, cool, Russia has never been untrustworthy

Ever

In any way

I’m pretty sure things just lit on fire in heaven with my saying such lies

Even in jest

People are incredibly cruel, aren’t they?

Shame on humanity

Called a woman a pig

Felt bad about it for a moment

Then there was a meme that said

Don’t be the bigger man

And I was like

Damn right

Fuck that condescending bitch

If it hadn’t been Facebook I would have taken off the gloves

Ah well

Nasty people today

Just full of themselves

Self important

Boring ass bitches

Got one bitch calling herself a scientist (she turned out to be a lab specialist) so she knows that this poor woman is a man

Got one bitch quoting literacy rates at me

Because apparently I’m stupid

And illiterate

That’s fine

Don’t speak my language

But it’s foolish to think I’m stupid

I am

Calculating

And shrewd

This life has taught me nothing more than that every person has no clue how stupid they actually are

And you just have to wait for someone to do something stupid

And someone will always do some stupid

I, at least, don’t think I’m brilliant

Don’t even think I’m that bright

But I am comfortable in knowing that I know little

This stupid woman is now spamming me with something

Either that or Facebook has glitched 7 times in the past five minutes

Who knows, she wasn’t worth my time to start with

She claims to be the smarter of the two of us,

And proudly proclaimed that I’m Islamophobic

While I’m non-binary and flying a Palestinian flag in my profile picture

Yah I’m sure

Anti-religion in general?

Yah

Anti-specific beliefs?

No I don’t claim to know enough about most religions to hate them for being them

Just the religions themselves for being coercive and full of contradictions that only favour the predominant race, of the male variety, who come from that religion

Oh and they’re usually rich

How strange

How strange

It’s not strange

It’s functioning as intended

Anyways

Sure, smite me for being concerned about a person’s safety

That had literally nothing to do with Islam because I didn’t know Islam was involved.

Stay mad bitch

Stay mad

Look up

You’re certain to find a shooting star

Listening to the night unfolding around me

Why are you honking as you’re driving

It’s 10pm

They went on for a while too

Humans

They really do confuse me

I thought if I put my soul to paper

Eh, internet

It would somehow make a mark

Be worth something

Those words

I wish I could remember them

Even though they’re not real

It seemed like something important

Who knows

What I’m even doing here

I thought so many things

Is it big enough yet?

Can you get past the crazy part of me?

Can anyone?

Tires screeching

It’s night time so it’s time to speed

Because reduced visibility is more fun to speed in

Or something

My nighttime is back

And I’ve taken all the consolation prizes

I don’t feel like there will anything ever as valuable

As his words

Hanging on to every one

Never having a clue what they actually mean

I was going to write about how terrifying men are but then the stars distracted me

The only thing more distracting

I hope that poor woman

Can still find happiness in her life without her husband

That she isn’t left yearning for him years long

All the good partners were taken long ago

And I’m not interested in destroying a happy ending

No interest at all

If only there was a greeting

Worth response

If you look at them they disappear

I’m not unlike that light

There are the sirens again

I don’t know what I expected

It wasn’t this though

I don’t suppose you wanted to be someone’s muse

Sorry

Have I said that enough?

I’m sorry

That’s it that’s what I want to say to you

Thank you and I’m sorry

I wish I could tell you that

But I don’t know if it will ever be enough

I’m trying though

I wonder who will remember me?

Am I going to disappear like all my ancestors?

Gone to time

And I suppose this will be my accomplishment

This… This

It’s not much

He said as much

Silence says a lot more than one would think

Rather poured it out

Than created with my own two hands

How many pages of erased text?

Will it persist?

Beyond me?

It’s not enough to make a living off of

Heh, I have in fact made nothing for any of my works

So there it goes I guess

There it goes

I wish I wasn’t nothing

Not wanting anything other than to be

Nothing more

The cool evening breeze is creeping in

As if me feeling it means I’m not nothing

Yet here I am

I’ve been waiting here for a while

And no one has noticed me