Elucidating Questions

He’s too fast to name,

So he named himself,

Here in a second in a whisper as he runs on by.

Ego that can never be beat with a tricky kind of hyper speed that can be deceiving.

Can stay long enough to make sure you’re well,

But can’t stay around to explain it

Anywhere or everywhere

I don’t know why, it’s how it is.

I don’t like saying goodbye,

But in a moment caught up, in the whisper of another

He feels he’s being left out,

He’s a he to me.

Started with an apology.

I’ve found a message.

I’ve never had a guy(Edit: gut) feeling be so wrong, but

What? (Edit: That’s what 😂)

Why summer besides that the sun wants the earth to stay and the earth is going anyway

As it does.

It can’t be going anywhere else unless something big happens so why this feeling like

Don’t let it end and

Whatever comes after?

I don’t even know what it is anymore.

I wonder if I get to go back to feeling the world and not feeling like a complete fool

I wonder if there’s any point to knowing the inevitable.

The skipping of the connection at those moments when it matters like

No one ever sees or hears half of it and

So who cares really?

I keep going back to that point but nothing ever changes so I really wonder

Why I had a feeling at all.

Or anything.

I’m just not the type to be noticed.

Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be.

Of course it wouldn’t make me feel better,

If I had him for another one night nothing

It was just a game and I don’t like it,

I never did.

The only way it would make me feel better is if he somehow,

But it wouldn’t change how it is now.

It’s never going to make it better,

Every day when the thought comes in,

I can’t escape starting back at one every day even when I don’t want to and it makes me

It makes me wish I wasn’t here anymore,

But what good does wishing do anyways?

Anything.

Better now?

I hate this.

It enters without asking permission.

I took it all and then

Nothing happened and I can’t give it back.

Would it make me feel better?

What possibly could,

I can’t imagine anything good happening to me.

I tried.

And all I did was end up feeling guilty for thinking and feeling what I did.

How could I ever allow myself to answer that question.

When he isn’t ever where I wanted him…

I paused for a moment, when the parks had the same pieces again

Only for a moment it doesn’t really surprise me

I just hadn’t seen one anywhere else before.

It all plays out like

If you’d just listen

But it’s so much listening.

It’s a job I never get a break from

Old man in a brown tan suit.

I wonder if the passerby is

Singing or reciting oral history no one will ever know.

Saturn falls with the moon tonight,

Mars watches quietly for once.

Or something,

You know.

If Apollo fell to earth it would be the strangest kind of poetic irony.

In so many ways, but I couldn’t find how often we meet.

I wonder how close he would have to be for us to see him.

Does it feel better to be a watcher and if so

Does the difference between star and sun mean something,

Or is that the name of the one in the middle right now.

When you’re not in the middle where are you?

Why are they missing I don’t wonder.

Usurped rulers often have their names erased,

But perhaps their children granted some understanding.

What was it like to be the child of such a being

I wonder silently,

Trying to escape my thoughts with the ponderings of stories past

Had they never stopped,

At least as how humans take them.

Neverendingly

Finding strange links in parks.

I already did this,

Over there. I don’t particularly want to sleep on a bench if my house is right there.

A sound in the night stopped leaving it partially silent,

Yes I have general knowledge of most things sometimes

Not numbers

There’s too many to have general knowledge of anything

I get by.

I had a dream where I got to speak to a bat he was very cute.

Sometimes I hear tweets in the night and I hope I have heard one.

I’m just hoping to buy some time by taking away the sight of it and leaving me with only the hand that barely can anyways so I will stop me

I’m just being honest I don’t know when it’ll break down again and desperately trying to keep all anger within

It doesn’t go anywhere

But the cat always scratches

バカ見たいに。

Feeling like “why” just because it hurts

I think we have to try but I don’t know why I just keep feeling like

I don’t know if I can believe you,

But I’ll try.

That there’s a reason for me to be under this sky.

I’ll keep trying to believe it because

Maybe I can leave behind some good

I hope I

Someday maybe something somehow.

I wish I could give every person a bed in a moderately conditioned place.

Even if it was almost nothing at least they would know someone cared enough to make sure they didn’t have to

Lose everything, ever.

But I can’t do that tonight

Because I’m trying so hard not to fall that far.

It’s not a joke.

Unless you want no where to go having no where to go is not a joke.

I wonder if the sun enjoys watching

After all how good is the eye I wonder

A snicker,

I’m so lost and upset but it doesn’t compare to how I want to help so

Apollo screaming

And with the whisper of Hecate

The moon both sides

Both sides and the learner who knows, knows so well

I’m so afraid to stay in a state but the chorus started up again when I went

There and he came back and I had to know some things.

It’s a lot louder now.

Just cause you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there

I love you

Truly, you

I may not know you,

Chances are I don’t.

But I do love you.

I could in an instant, because I just

Do

This whisper,

I don’t think demons work like pokemon moving on

It’s nonsensical because I can’t stay in one spot very long.

Don’t know why, just how it goes

I guess.

Yes I wonder how separated they are

If they are at all,

Travelling through space makes me feel better for a second I hide there

I know I can’t remember every little thing but it makes me feel like

I’m not alone if there’s so much going on or something don’t mind me but

Also I connect these beautiful people

To these

There are so many of them I don’t even think they have to share but I hope they don’t mind they don’t stay very long

They shift and move because humans

People

A person

Is like an ocean and the depths of who they are cannot be encapsulated in ideas of another but there are things I see in those that others don’t see

My view of them is probably different, just like everyone else’s is.

No I can’t stop I’m trying to keep my thumbs moving until the rushing calms a bit and I don’t feel so guilty.

I don’t know

Something about how it was said just

It didn’t feel like they ever actually cared it was more like distaste and distrust.

If I think of all these parental voices I have in my mind none of them quite fit.

I know what it’s like to feel like an outsider even when from within.