Elucidating Questions

Please don’t make me be awake.

Please let me go back to sleep.

I try so hard to stay asleep

I want to be free for a moment more

I want to have a home for a moment more

I want to belong for a moment more.

I look up

There are clouds for the first time in weeks I try to barter with them

I’ll stay awake,

If it rains.

I will trade you my happiness for rain.

Please fall so the earth doesn’t look so parched, so the sun cannot burn you out of the sky before a drop falls.

I will give you the time I wanted to spend somewhere my mind created

If you allow the rain to fall and the plants and animals to be satiated of their thirst.

I’ll trade you.

Am I awake? Are you awake?

We’re all awake,

Captured by the midnight hour, welcome to it you can try to glower

But you’re in it

The hours that drip into each other as the clock ticks on and the dawn draws closer

Can you close your eyes? Or are they plastered open

A good question among the thoughts that haunt in the wee hours like

Do you remember all those things you’ve done,

Or trying to stick you with the worrying ones

Of tomorrow and things that must be but can’t be or shouldn’t be or are going to be

Difficult or challenging

Let me worry incessantly over things no one could help me with right now it’s

The opposite of a good time

Did you check your ticket at the door?

The door.

What door?

Whatever door we had to go through to come through and see through

Every hour preceding sunrise regardless of our pleading cries it’s time to be awake,

So someone decided

Perhaps the man with the sand forgot to provide it

I don’t know what to tell you

Awake awake awake

Eventually the thoughts start breaking away

Someday you’ll sleep, maybe even today,

But until then, awake you will stay.

The last time I saw you

I cried after.

Tried not to do it in front of you.

The past hurts.

In my mind he thinks he tried or that he actually cared

But I have trouble believing in this,

Despite the feeling.

It feels like it’s been so long,

And then I realise it has.

The last time I saw you my heart cried outloud,

Screamed for you

Longed for you

Like a fool really.

I regret feeling that way.

Last time I saw you it felt like the last time I would

But I so desperately didn’t want our last hello and goodbye

To end with me walking away,

And crying out of sight.

Space and time align in a strange complex passing by of moments that will never be that same way again.

As space passes by and time marks the occasion

A fleeting second by second rhythm that fluctuates and changes

As days go by in the human mind

How many places will never be the same

And how many changes unknown to us have taken place

When we reach them will we know what happened and why or just

Tell our interpretation,

Of the bodies in the sky

Outside

Of the sky.

Within the endless ending beginning

Of space?

Come sit with me on this wall we build

Do you fear falling?

One would wonder why we build it too high to cross over in the event of a miracle.

Trapped on the other side you can’t even gaze over the top.

The prickle of the vines and thorns that grow all over.

I don’t think there is a flower, I think the wall prevents the love the flower would need to grow.

The fast return of and the death of the moon who could see over.

Hanging in the sky and seeing both the sides.

Successfully beaten down to hide the face

I don’t think anyone could meet the meager face of the fear of every human that comes close

Coming alive was easy.

Staying that way feels like a joke.