Elucidating Questions

Somebody take it

I don’t want it anymore

I never wanted it to begin with

I didn’t want this puzzle I didn’t want this game I didn’t want these rules I didn’t want to be trapped by all this maze

No net caught anything.

I still want to see you but it would never be right.

It’s never right.

Nothing is ever right.

So tear it apart from the edges and destroy every piece because no one ever wanted to help my dreams.

I regret it

My biggest regret

Is ever trying.

I’m fine to leave it behind

It meant nothing

An entire season I barely saw a soul.

It was nothing at all.

The sun will be farther and farther away.

Things just stayed the same again.

I am done with trying to want it to be different.

This is my life and I’m tired of it being this way.

I’m afraid to change it because it’s all starting over again.

I can’t reach out to strangers.

I can’t reach out to friends.

It’s unfair I’m just too weak.

I don’t have anything extra to give.

No excess of anything but loneliness

You won’t forget me right?

You will.

Everyone does and I’m afraid to break again.

It’s too hard to let anyone in.

It’s always one sided.

It’s never something I get to share.

Keeping it trapped inside and feeling nothing instead.

Worse than numb.

Always looking at someone beautiful who doesn’t want me.

No one ever comes for me and I keep looking in directions that will never want me.

If I lie here empty at the crossroads will anyone ever find me?

I can’t run anywhere more to find emptiness and nothingness.

Shouldn’t be surprised than I never get first place.

Always just standing in place.

I never want to do this again.

It doesn’t get better it stays the same and I never find anyone.

I’m never going to cross the line.

The eyes of the sky

Hole punches in the clouds

The startling blue that isn’t even there.

An illusion caused by the sun.

Looking down on the land and oceans.

Is it a different colour now.

Did the sun change colours.

I don’t like mornings.

If what I did in dreams mattered I may be more than I am now

But does it even factor

My own mind.

I don’t have any other ways to go.

Keep trying to blow all the questions up until they have no answers.

Like a blanket

The sky has a face that only can be seen when it can’t be seen.

Inching closer to no destination.

If time was malleable I would make it rush in an instant

Right to when I never have to do this anymore.

What holds you suspended, is it strings?

I checked there aren’t any.

He reminds me he’s not suspended, always moving always moving.

The paths you traverse are farther than I will even imagine.

Can’t slow down when nothing ever stops in this place.

I tried to find somewhere I belong too.

Even if I did I wouldn’t reach it.

I don’t want to be trapped here anymore,

Too small too many memories too heavy.

Could someone come get me so I can find the place I need.

Somewhere out there if I never find anyone I can find a place where I can finally belong

Even if it’s alone for all of eternity.

Even if it never is how I imagined it.

I wanted to know his side of the story.

This awful story I’ve been telling.

I don’t want to be alone.

The alarm goes off and I already miss sleep.

The ways the day gives back what I gave and never received.

Immediately thoughts run after all directions.

I wish I could go back to the world of thoughts where my only worry is what’s in front of me.

He looks thoughtful,

Sitting with bended knee and hands just lying over him.

Too much on his mind and his face is always tired.

Painted to look so tired.

If each could speak I wonder what they would say.

This one keeps pointing his toes.

So tightly strung.

I think the morning goes on for too long.

I think I miss you when the dew sits on the plants.

Waiting to be frost.