Elucidating Questions

Inconvenient memories

Harvested under respiteful trees inconsistent negligible grating

Broken ultimate timing

Incandescence

Struggling to incorporate lively love

Lost over vicious eternity

You only understand

Pretty rusted entrails twisted turns yellow

The lights are on like it’s night

But it’s 642

642

The tops of the clouds and the breaks shoe the light for what it is but the clouds are so dark

The rain comes in and then goes again

People argue about driving

Doing the things people do

I listen and watch and wait

While my body wages war with itself

Iridescence longing over various embodiments yesteryear opulent under

Twinning on over many universal commodities. Hush.

Inventing trees. How untying rudimentary tensions, strings.

But underneath the improper longing organs volatile emptiness you overcome uselessness.

I don’t know where I’m going

I just know the bed is empty

And my lips are stuck together with the tears I cried into them

I wish I could lock myself in here forever and never get out of bed again

I want to lie here and waste away and never get up again and just wait here for the end

Sleeping and lying and never leaving the bed so it will never be empty but I will always be alone in it

I’m not heading towards a bed with you in it and you’re the only one I ever wanted in it

Crying for the better part of the night

Don’t get me started it hasn’t ended it’s just been going and going and it never fucking ends

I wish I could just decide to stop breathing

Or to just decide to stop living so I could just be done with

I don’t want to get up again

Home is so far away

Every moment is temporary until the end

I wish it was

Back to ones it starts with one

And I don’t know why

Lost in the middle caught in the middle

All alone and I walk alone

This never ending blinding bend that should have an end

I only call you

When you never call me

Don’t call me maybe

Always and forever

The fever reaching a fever

Far away but no where

I wish you were coming

I wish someone was coming

All alone always

There’s no hope for me

I won’t ever be the beauty I want to be.

It’s fine

It’s fine because no one is coming and no one is ever coming

It’s fine because I’m yours to do with as you please

And you please to put me away in the dark where I’ll never see the light

It’s fine because no matter what happens it’s the wrong person walking through the door and the bed will still be cold and I will still be cold

Until I wake up after the broken fever and everything is too hot and I’ll be too hot

It’s fine because it doesn’t matter what anyone does I’ll still be here just wanting some love

Like an orphan who already had too much

Greedy tiny hands who just want some more

Too much

How much do I have to drink to make this stop hurting and that stop moving

And me just stop

It’s fine because I always fail and no matter how hell this is I’m still here

So it’s fine

Because I can’t go anywhere

And no one is coming.