Elucidating Questions

It’s better to not want anything

Than to want something and lose it

As soon as you want something

They can take it away

And they will

Don’t tell them you want anything

They’ll make sure you never get it

If it doesn’t keep you alive

You don’t need it

So don’t want it

And they can’t take it away

Never feeling hope because it’s far too terrifying to trust yourself wanting

Trust yourself hoping

Trust yourself believing

Better to want nothing

Live for nothing

Believe in nothing

You can’t get hurt if they can’t take it away

They can’t take it away if you don’t have it

And if you don’t want it to hurt

You’re better off never wanting anything

Never aiming for anything

They were lying when they said you could do it

They just wanted you to feel their lies and pay them for them

They’re all fucking liars singing about hope and believing and telling you all these lies

And every time you sing along like a fucking fool

You’re just showing them gratitude

For their fucking lies

Sometimes I look back

Haha

Sometimes

I look across the table at the man with all the cards

If I could give you anything what would you want

The tower in the reverse position

I know it’s only going to get harder

Because it never gets easier

That much I know for certain

All these lies about hope

Hope is a lie you told yourself to keep yourself going

Once you know the truth you come to hate it

Recognise it

And hate it

Belief is a lie to tell yourself to make yourself right

But belief is the proof you gave in to not knowing

Once you know it you stop believing anything

Truth

I don’t know what truth is

I believe it and love have a similar shape

Look

I believe

But I do not know

So I stop believing

Why am I so quiet

Because I’ve given up long ago

And I’m just starting to realise it

I just got started

I’m already exhausted

Running on empty every single day

But today I woke feeling like I’d been carrying the weight of a thousand words on my shoulders

None of the matches will light

There’s no more fire

Don’t ask me what I did or why

I didn’t want the bad air and I tried to overcome it

Even that

He won’t see it or see me or be seen

No matter what I do he doesn’t want me

I tried to fit his puzzle but he didn’t want to try

I never even had one chance

He already decided I’m not important

I know I don’t write well

I know it’s no good

I know he’s not impressed

I know it’s not good enough

I’m no good

I want to go away

I’m waiting here for you, in this quiet night

Where the water’s sign shows the past

Where the fields of hope once grew

With each passing day the smile I once knew faded away

Already so much

In the swaying night, in the flowing waters

You’re there sleeping alone

Do the memories grow kinder as time permits

In the far away sky and the deepest seas

I see a dream of you laughing like a child

And looking in the mirror

I feel with such sadness

That I am you

One great mistake breaks it

But I’m waiting for you

In this green dawn

Dreaming of you

In this quiet night

Where the stars fall