Poetry
This is the general category of fuckery that goes on and on and doesn’t seem interested in stopping.
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誰にも渡さないよ
自分のクレージーよ
頑張っても関係ない人はどうでも良いよ
自分のクレージー
怪しい目で見ないでだって
渡さないよ自分のクレージー
太陽と木と遊ぼうんだよー
君は誘ってないよ
これは自分の自由よ
君は太陽と会話しないけど
I do
I love you
No comments on -
Six sullen ghosts swinging around a tree
Diamond little red flower growing
Younger and brighter
No healing powers observed
But why would that be important
When we already have so much science
Slow going
I cry when I can’t feel hope
I fly when I can’t feel love
Every day
No matter what you say
Called back to the system
I don’t think they want to steal me I think they’re annoyed with it
I know what I’m doing
Or I don’t and I don’t care
I love the babies
My babies
Who aren’t mine
Mothers hate me
Unless I’m theirs
But no one wants me
Not really
My mother regrets me
I’ve known for some time
The pearl in the belt always accepts me and holds me tightly
Until I can stand on my own
But this world is so heavy
I prefer being outside
If I have no love
I go love everything else
Yes.
Every day.
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Sweet little flower
Shy little petals
I miss you
I used to hold you like I held your baby sister
Sweet little flower
Sweet little flowers
No matter what I will always be here
If you ever need anything I will be here waiting to give it because I love you and you both deserve to live something far better than this
My little angels don’t fear me I’ll be your guardian I’m always somewhere close
Just come find me I’ll always be here
Little lion
I can’t look at you without despair
But I want you to grow up tall and have a family forever
And if you’re ever not good enough for them I will also be here
I know you don’t need me
When they love you they’re the most kind nurturing wonderful people I’ve ever had the
Mis/fortune?
To meet
They’ll love you and take care of you and you’ll grow up strong and happy
I love you too
But you’ll never know that I do
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Happy birthday
Grandma
See he’s been going on about family
And I feel so alone here and I feel like I failed
I feel like I failed my family and you loved us all so much and
I love you and I wish I could make it all better
Grandma is this how it was supposed to be?
Was I supposed to be here?
Grandma I miss you but I don’t know
I think if you were here you would have turned me out too
I don’t know how to trust anymore
Grandma I can’t remember how to trust people
All I expect from them is pain
All I expect is that I’ll screw up and it’ll be the final failure and I’ll be all alone again
Grandma happy birthday
But I don’t know if I would be allowed to wish you it if you were alive
Grandma
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have a family again
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have friends again
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust anyone again
I’m lost and I don’t know where to turn
I screamed for help
And no one came
I wish I had died instead of you
Because then they’d be happy today
And I’d be forgotten
I wish I had died instead
I’m so sorry you died and never got to see your great-grandchildren
Grandma I wish I had died instead
I wish I had died instead of you
You were so important
Happy birthday
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I wonder if when I sleep I am transported to a different place where sleep doesn’t happen or time isn’t the same
The hours of time that I sleep do not add up to rest in my head
Oh I was in bed
And my heart said I was near dead
As it does when you dream
The watch knows it reads it for me
But it just ignores me in those hours caught between dream and awake I feel like I spend hours lying awake
I spend years dreaming
But my eyes they are still tired
And my bones they are still heavy
My muscles they are still tight
My mind it is still weary
But I shut my eyes and I open them again and the night has fallen and the light has won
Or as they say
My section of the earth has turned back to the sun
Which has turned many times since I last saw him I always say hello
But I’m still tired
Where did sleep go?
And the hours they passed
Take up so much time
But I feel so weak
That I wish I was dying
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Even though the universe is so vast no one can hear me cry
Because it is so vast
But of all the possibilities in this universe
Where are my possibilities?
Doesn’t it make you lonely?
The bigger your world the more alone you are
But you’d notice if seven billion were in the room with you
Can you imagine being able to meet all of them? See their lives and be connected
Understand
See their pain
Meld it with your own and carry it together
In this entire universe
All the beings I’ll never meet who I could get along with and love
All the sounds I’ll never hear
The things I’ll never see
I hate it here but I would love it and miss it if only I could leave I would come back to visit but
Impossible
Love walks in the same as she does
What do I do here shrug?
It’s the same several people.
Why?
I can’t have any of them.
Even in this tiny box
There are so many people I’ll just never meet
And no one will ever hear my cry.
Elucidating Questions 