Elucidating Questions

I whined in the night before the light and cried his name

And he rejoices and then clears his throat and says

You’ll live

You’ll be fine

Imagine if you’d said that to me last night what terrible bedside manner

You’re a terrible doctor

Just kidding

I missed you through the rain

Glowing light

Did you hear?

There’s billions of planets more than stars

And they’re all different because the stars are different and

You’re unique

Isn’t that lovely?

You’re somewhere.

Close always. And my heart is by you always.

Good and broken

Smashed even

Double entendre

If it makes you upset then it’s probably the truth

Unfortunately you’re all guilty

Two green guys in a row good shuffling

No there’s truly no one else good like me and I see it all I see it now

Or you just didn’t know

And it was the people who keep you on a leash

Look how I care

At least I’m aware of the damage in doing every day and try to spend all my time free making up for it

But I have no control of my masters

Don’t be stupid you have them to

Go to sleep

Just go to sleep I know you haven’t been sleeping

Don’t take it and think all those sad stupid things

I still said perfect

Did I not?

I don’t have an apology for you

The cat was vicious

The rabbit had cried herself to disappear breaking with every tear

Was he wrong?

Well?

Of course the silence answers me but we

I stand by the words because they aren’t wrong

And if you’d had half a care you’d have been following and watching the wolf tear

Bite

Break their necks

Throw the cat by the tail

Snapping bones and hearts and souls

Spirits

Well they know

Chester

She cried out for you and did you deliver in the way you’ve been with your words in places and name in others

Don’t leave me alone here

Unfortunate realities

I’m beyond apologies

She’s not

But if I know you half as well as I at least still think I do if not the wide eyed moon and her dark side

You’ll think

It’s all true

I don’t deserve apologies

And feel sorry for yourself

Write it in an album why don’t you

Just kidding

Don’t write about them you’ll just assure their mutual destruction

Still can’t be fucked to turn an eye to them can you?

You didn’t start it

But you didn’t do a damn thing to stop it either

After all

Silent self defense is fine while the entire world is burning alive

Isn’t it Switzerland?

It’s your choices

It’s always your choice

Like everyone else who pulls away

Like every reborn Jesus Christ who carries the known world on their shoulders

Of course seeing the world from how it is

Makes us sick and we want to change it

Dear Jesus

I tried to love everyone and they left me

I tried to share compassion with everyone and they threw me away

Dear man either hanging on the cross or hanging

I’m so alone

I’m so drunk

I’m so broken

Dear every Jesus Christ who ever killed themselves because the world would be better without them

Buckets

It’s not

You killed every one following and every one following me

You created a world where love and compassion are considered weakness and

Bleeding heart

The “liberal” follows

Oh don’t laugh

I know every Jesus Christ who loved and was left to die

That you were liberal.

Different.

I

Don’t know anymore why I fight or who I love

That was the question I can’t run from

Right?

The answer is still everything still I just hurt so much

Oh shut up

I can take it if you need to take this out on someone or whatever the line was I haven’t heard trench in months and I can’t remember

Memory leak

I am holding too much

To remember me

That’s why I don’t know what I need

That’s why I don’t know who I need

That’s why I can’t trust anyone only every thing

I’m holding the memories of centuries.

Centuries.

Hello I am index.

Please release me

Please

I’ll just cry for a while

Because you lied to me

I’ll just cry for a while

Because you blamed it on me

I’ll just cry for a while

Because you threw me away

I’ll just cry for a while

Because I feel unattractive and unwanted and you cement it

Pour it on me

I should feel nothing

I wish I felt nothing

I wish I didn’t care

I’ll just cry for a while

You’ll never have to see it or hear about it

Because you don’t care

Don’t tell me to stop drinking

And then give me a hundred reasons to drink

I’ll just cry for a while

That’s what you wanted

Right?

If I close my eyes I can cuddle up to the sun

Or swing from Saturn’s rings

If I take leave of my senses

They reply

But who’s to say I’m wrong

When they’ve been proving themselves right

All along the way

Still trying to tease out the meaning of

Today’s meetings mimic tomorrow

But I already knew the sun was coming out and burning away the clouds

That the sun and sky would be visible when I was done

I mean

What was that?

I grit my teeth and sing it to myself sometimes

To remind myself that he wouldn’t listen

I have foresight and it’s real

I used to love that song

Eighties four on the floor drum thing

Every song that has it spikes my anxiety

Because he wouldn’t listen

You’re not ever going to get a Mary

If I have anything to say about it

No more slave girls forced to carry a baby she’ll never keep

No more rape victims of some maniacal god

Creepy old men raping fourteen year olds

That’s what you want?

Well

No.

No from now until they finish it.

Because everyone chose the wrong path