Elucidating Questions

If I could just see you

If I could just hold you

And then the birds

And the birds

And the birds

And

Don’t

I wish I could find you and tell you I like this song

I don’t love it

But are we surprised?

This fucker is chuckling

Do you remember when I started crying at four in the morning because I remembered

Bear

My hamster?

I loved that little guy he was my best friend.

He’s also the reason I always expect to walk into a room with a pet and find the worst

But you

Do you remember

How tightly you held my head in your hands and said

Shut up and listen to me for a minute

And I finally fell asleep

And if at this moment sadness overflows

It will always be okay to cry by my side.

That’s how it is, like this.

Does it take until then before I’m well enough I don’t understand

You knew I’d unravel it

If you had died you’d have missed this

If I had died I’d be dead or if things are actually how humans say they are

Haha

I’d be with him and probably know all the words.

I’m sorry it didn’t make anything better

But we’ve been over why

I don’t think you would have ever shown me your music if you knew what it does to me

And that’s sad because you were brilliant

And the blackhole you left

Left left left

It’s pretty

But it’s no you.

Chester,

Are celebrities pets?

Close encounter was already had earlier when you were suddenly already in my fucking face

And then hair petting

Like okay boy

Take it personally that you’re tiny in comparison to the fire and fucking

Whatever that was, it was,

Invasive

Go away

Saturn how often do you see me

I can see you whenever I want

Of course

But it’s with honey and I don’t feel like I’m sounding like a toddler asking too many questions Frederick so shut the fuck up for a second with the

Revolutionary bullshit.

I already don’t enjoy life so unless you’re going to bring a face with that immanence

Do you think I could call him over here

Here large rock flying through space

He’d be about that size and we’d all be dead!

New moon

New moon

New moon 2019!!! Woot woot insincere excitement Woohoo!!!

I just want to know

Where I went wrong, trying to go back to the beginning through different rabbit holes over and over again

Where they went wrong?

Talking.

They never should have learnt.

Just like every other pawn in history

Bede

Aw

Sweet Bede

How many meanings does it hold?

Why what?

Why what?

Yes thump thump invasive whisper thoughts thump thump

Why can’t I hope he was just some dumbass who actually thought that this was going to help anybody

Just like every other great dumbass

I mean Saint did you hear me say Saint?

Eh

It’s just such an ugly word

You got rapists and murderers all over it I’d rather wax poetic

About how it would be so great if they were literally

All just one fucking dumb ass being like

Hey guys I really want to help people

I may be of below or average intelligence but I have good intentions

And sixty odd other people who are just assholes, not dumb asses

Asses are fucking adorable okay? I had a friend I named Donkey once because that’s how babies name things

They’re like tall longer nosed puppies.

Assholes on the other hand co opt the story to make it so that they can get ahead in life without any consideration for how it will affect anyone ever except perhaps their lineage

God’s’z’esses

Oh hell yes keyboard rememberer to the rescue

By the way it’s pronounced “God” so every time I use the word IRL

Like out there I’m really refering to the mass and not the minus

Oops.

You saw a blackhole?

I fucking jump in those so

You don’t need to tell me I’ve been hearing about it for a year

Whatever it is just travels faster than light I guess

Good luck science

Aka saez.

I’m so sorry

I’m making a reference to a reference in a reference

I’m quoting a very old Hatsune Miku cover of Still Alive that once had a lyric video

Er

Um

Which was fondly titled

Steal a Lamp

Because,

Well,

Poetry rule break

Holy shit it’s making outside contact

https://youtu.be/_12b6Om758Q

What ever.

Steal a Lamp is a far away place where all your dreams come true because you have no fucking clue what she’s saying but it still makes sense.

I once got 100% vocals on Still Alive on Rockband singing Steal a Lamp instead and that’s because Rockband can only tell you that you hit notes good

Not that you sound good

I don’t even know what I’m thinking about anymore

But every day I wake up and cry because I woke up

Every night I cry because I know I’ll have to wake up the next day and do this same thing all over again

And I’m so tired so

Gang vocals 101

A simple reflection

Even without the fun

Still sounds like the first one

Somehow it still makes sense and I don’t know why

I don’t care

I love it

This is what it feels like

It’s a reference to a mashup because if there is one

It won’t be a shock because that’s what he does and that’s why I love him because when I went through those

Mashup only

Stages where only the complexity that the song brought about could keep me sound

Trench always went in the hole too

So of course I love that aspect of his design as an artist

Because in taking all those pieces of themselves and overlapping them and juxtaposing them with eachother it’s just another one of the same beautiful story that is

The tapestry that story and song and lyric creates in you when it pulls from so many different places at once

So probably

If there was literally anyone else who could do that well

I’d like their music but

Marianas Trench is as one of a kind as Hedley wasn’t in a lot of ways but

I don’t know what why I’m answering

Discombobulated

I fucking love that word because Bob is exactly six letters deep on either side and if he wasn’t there it looks like a word that could be a word

But isn’t.

But discombobulated is a word

Thank you English language

Bede this is why

What was that you were saying about, what was it,

The holiness of the collection of the

Five

(This is what we in the business call “a lie”)

Languages on the British isle?

This is what it is now.

So…

Hmm that’s unfortunate.

I think I just got told to stop harassing the prisoners?

Fair enough.

If that’s how you feel about dumbasses I suppose.

I never live very long but I am

Besides they’re dead so

I can say whatever I want and also

I almost was one so-

I am one so-so one was almost I

Showing them mercy would just make me wonder why I’m not due

Something

I don’t care much for knowing I’m just like they are

I’m smart enough to know it

But not smart enough to change it

Or know what I know even

How is that?

Like filling a cup to its absolute point

So here we are writing the words of wanting something to just make it better and

I’m either never going to be heard of

Because I’m poor unlike rich boy over here

Because I die

Because I’m not good enough

Because circumstances go on and on and on and

Because no one’s listening

Or

I will be heard of and in a few hundred years they’ll be looking back on me like “wow that person got fucked over by people who wanted fame and fortune”

Because history repeats itself

Pointless repetition is the definition of insanity (it’s a quote I’m bastardising)

And I’m not smarter than any of them.

Nor am I more capable to decide what a large group of humans should behave like in the future

Because that shit drives me bat shit crazy

You get the one guy who actually wants to help people

And then all the wasps that swarm him.

And you are my shelter and I wish I could save you

And I appreciate that you are always somehow my shelter even though I don’t understand why

You keep me dry from the rain and you make me smile when all I feel is pain and

But

Has you ever seen a shelter animal?

I want to find my forever home be it one that moves or one that stays or one that travels the world or just doesn’t always stay still

At least it would be…

A home, right? Like even the imperfections would-be

Imperfections

Wouldn’t a home be better than a shelter and I know that sounds stupid like you have a house so you have a home but

I’m selfish

And I wish you were here.

For instance no matter how separate we are, you’re always in my mind.

I close my eyes and there you are.

But even trying to send those warm thoughts to you, they somehow just wander.

You are there.

And I am here.

There wasn’t any reason I wanted to see you,

But to you two,

God bless.

You can’t catch the dreams you chase even if you need them,

So you like a big dream?

It’s a completely uncertain percentage.

I’m just searching for a place for me

In this darkness forever

I know there’s no world without pain

How could I possibly clarify when nothing is clear in the

Inclarity of it all

Malady unrefining the meaning of the words in the simplest senses

You could not bring clarity beyond the clear truth of me being unworthy

As to him

And all before them

A world of lies lived through trying to try to think everyone has a good to them

That just doesn’t come to me

Whatever I did to deserve this

There’s no clarity so how could I be clear and make things concrete

Nothing is ever clear

It’s dare.

This is just how my life is.

I dare you to try try again and fail every time and never fucking once realise you were the problem

Or know how to fix it

Is that clear enough?