Elucidating Questions

I don’t want diamond rings

Just someone who wants to give them

I don’t want to take all someone’s time

Just someone who wants to give me some

Don’t need fancy restaurants

Just a kitchen and some supplies

Don’t need candles

Just some gaming on the couch

Don’t want a Valentine

Just wanted someone to think of me

I’ve never had a Valentine

But I wanted someone to share every day with, not one

When staring at the almost cloudless sky

Shouting

I’m waiting for a sparkle

And Mars appears right before your eyes

A swing to find Orion’s shoulder and watch as his belt, other shoulder, and hips poke out the sky with their light

There’s something in watching them born in the young night

Something about knowing that they were already there but unseen

Somewhere far far away even when unseen

It’s definitely a curse

The ripples

But the sky I look to numbs the pain for a moment

If but for a moment

I was imagining shooting myself in the head

A woman’s bag hit the seat beside me just as I pulled the trigger

Snapped back to reality where really

Everyone just doesn’t have time for me

No no no

He says, shaking his head, he may as well be waggling a finger

Everyone just doesn’t think of me

Or they don’t think of me as someone to talk to

I need a gun

He says

And that’s why you’ve never had one

Perhaps

But I enjoy the sensation

Of shooting myself in the head until I get to the part of

After the bullet hits

Is it just unfathomable

Does it really just end

This is my life then?

This is it?

Working in retail and then working maybe as an English teacher if I even still understand English and am not babbling meaningless drivel into the hole

Every day with people talking down at me like I’m somehow lesser than them

No friends no family no…

No anything?

No one to love or just someone who loves me

No one to talk to no one to sit and watch movies with no one to go out with no one?

This is it?

And every day is agony and every day I argue with myself from go as to why I’m even still alive

Start to finish

I can’t love myself

You’ve never had to live with me

I really can’t wait for the day Nobody dies.

The Nothing, if I named it, wouldn’t be Nothing anymore

But a rose is still a rose regardless of what you call it unless it was never a rose and was actually something entirely different

So if I name the Nothing Joe

Is it Joe now?

And what is Joe?

Nothing.

But now every Joe is like

I’m not nothing!

Well good cause you’re not Nothing and Nothing can’t be you it’s Nothing

So that doesn’t work

If I make it look like something it’s that thing and not nothing

So it’s not Nothing

Nothing breaks all the rules like No One kills themself

Their self

Kill requires a subject

“No one runs” doesn’t require a subject because the subject is no one

But when murder enters it smashes the sentence just as it had to have to have to have been named murder.

Yup, that’s English for you

Ouch.

Reality doesn’t make sense and our language just convoluted the sense it didn’t make

Man had to ask

Why is that flower there

And was probably answered

I planted it

But why

Because it came from a seed that came from another flower

But why

And it just goes down and down forever

Yes but why is the earth here for the flower to be on?

Because it happened that some dust and rocks and shit happened to find some other dust and rocks and shit that had some fire and got stuck here so it eventually due to strong forces that don’t make sense making it into a big rock

But why?

Why for the love of everything why?

And how is it that nothing can still exist here while there’s so much existing with nothing to blame

The very prospect of life itself is

Ridiculous

Who the hell told some cells if they went in this way instead of that way they’d create…

What the fuck

And we’re all giant bubbles of some cells that got together because ???

And holding inside of us an entire system of existence that is so vague they don’t know what it means what causes it where it comes from

Why?

And every single one of these

Existences see not the world

The entire universe

Differently. Some don’t see the universe they don’t think of it, don’t know of it, but it’s there regardless and their existence is an entire universe in itself

Numbers I can’t say

Na na seven

That’s a number now

And we’re all just here

…

Waiting for the day we die?

How much bigger than the universe can the universe be that thought up this shit?

It’s so big and I’m so scared that I don’t have the answers

And then I’m sitting in my living room alone

And faced with all the consequences that this fucked up thing called life has placed on me

If there was somewhere I could, I would, go where I could just think of everything without being hurt and afraid without being scared and alone without being hungry and worried about how to ensure it continues

Rather than face the Nothing.

Haha I guess we’re playing phone tag

Calling for help so call me

Call me I’ll call back

Will this really be a trigger for the rest of my life?

Everyone has a joke about it

Even though it’s never happened

Even though it won’t ever happen

Everyone has to use it

It’s everywhere

Why?

Someday I’m going to die and I’ll have thrown a wish in the well

Who I looked to as it fell is of no consequence

And the only thing in my way

Is nothing

I had a dream about Nothing last night

His voice was low and growlish like a beast from a Disney movie

His tone was cold as he mocked me and I told him

You’re Nothing!

And the laugh like gravel being rubbed together as you step upon it

He’s still in my way

So now that I have begun dreaming my own personal personification of Nothing

And thrown a wish in the well

And begged borrowed and stole (this line from If I Didn’t Have You, which stole it from a song by the same name as the line which is incredibly antithetical to both songs seeing as it’s about not wanting to get back together but I digress)

I have foresight but it’s not something a doe eyed princess sings about while fluttering her long lasses

It’s not cute

It’s fucking awful

Nothing is in my way

Nothing is standing in front of me threatening to swallow me until the day I die until he can swallow me for good

It’s not death that I fear it is him

This great nothing

That spreads across my eyes

Everything is dull

Every time the phone rings

I’m so foolish because I’m still waiting for a call

Even though he never sent no letters (this is a double negative so it implies he actually sent tonnes of letters unendingly and I am desperately trying to convince him to stop, but it’s a quote from You Found Me by The Fray)

…

#getsingersongwritersgrammarteachers

If a lay here

If I just lay here

All the laundry I have to do today because lay is something you do with something else

In that tense anyways

No, constantly,

It’s annoying that people who can’t finish a sentence get to be rich and famous so that millions of other people who can’t finish a sentence can sing along and no one along the way said

Hey, did you realise this error makes this line of your song contrary to the meaning you intended/gibberish?

No.

As long as the words are in an acceptable order and the meaning can be discerned by going over the line I suppose it’s acceptable.

It just encourages the masses to speak English improperly because bards are often how language was spread and so

No, nevermind, I won’t lament the loss of times past where bards and minstrels actually had a purpose other than to be gawked at in awe by people as if they’re somehow better because they can pull on strings on a piece of wood with metal stuff attached while saying noises into a penis which amplifies their voices

Where they were taking the histories of themselves to others

Educating people

Telling stories

And

Entertaining them

Now they sing about how much their life sucks and all the people are like

Oh my god my life sucks too!

And rather than doing anything about it,

They do Nothing.

They just sing at eachother during concerts about how much life sucks.

We’re not gonna take it

SING IT WITH ME

NO WE AIN’T GONNA TAKE IT

WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Hey Jim, what are you doing after the concert?

Drinking some beers and going home to do Nothing.

Wow me too. I guess we are going to take it after all.

Nothing gets around.

Nothing swallows us all.

And whenever the phone rings

I cry because it wasn’t your call.