Elucidating Questions

Don’t run too far

Kno-o-o-o-o-o-ow

Just stuck in my head

You never

You never

You never

‘Cause I don’t owe you anything

End in tragedy

It hurts so much to thank you just the same

‘Cause I don’t owe you anything

Just get out of my head

Stay or go

Go go go

And don’t you know?

I would have gone if I could go

I’d rather die than be lonely

The surviving never live

Old friend

Who?

No one

I don’t look like my pictures

It’s a bad thing

But I don’t know how I should look

Which face is it? Which face?

All I see is in the mirror and it lies

Didn’t want to stay awake so I took drugs

I have way too many drugs

Getting drunk is now a calculated decision to cause the affects on the side of the pill bottle

And I have to keep to the choices I’ve made

I’ve made

Blue on top

Purple in the middle and Green just below

Those who whisper in my ear

No particular order

It makes a good triangle

Trying displace the me who I don’t recognize that everyone says they see

They just have names because I’m so tired of the voices in my head and I can yell louder if they have a name

They said you can’t imagine volume of words

So I can

But the sun’s hand was on my face

That’s the truth

Metaphorically

I don’t want to show a face that isn’t mine

But every time I look it’s not the way it was supposed to go

It just goes the way it’s not supposed to go

Every time though

You’d rather be hurting there than

Someone else

And even though I know

I know I’m not on the list

Even though I know

That there’s no chance no one or two

Before the book closes will I ever even meet you

Why wouldn’t you give me a chance?

And you say we all heal but in the decade between

Still you write about your queen

Then how could I heal from any of this?

Why am I the only one to miss?

Miss every chance and every last moment

Locked away so far away so close nowhere near where I wanted to be

And I know it won’t reach you

Because I’ve never been good enough for you

Not good enough to notice

Or even see through

No colours to show just greys and clear ink running through

I hope I don’t have to see any more of this

I hope I die and they live happily ever after

I hear one thousand tiny ringing noises

The room suddenly faded like every sight was slanted

All the sound was so far away the sound of hands rubbing together like a cloth on the microphones

They’re fading they’re fading

What is it I felt

I do not know

I’ve never told

This is when

I remember what happiness feels like

I’ve felt it so rarely and fleeting

But as the blanket of cold lies on the earth I feel

Happy

As the world whispers away around me I feel

Safe

I feel her like a warm cold weight

I am happy

For the first time in months

The best thing to happen this year

I’ve remembered what it feels like

A visit

I wish she could stay

For days and days

But a visit is more than I expected

And everything I asked for

So many beautiful individuals created by a simple drop in temperature

Fleeting flitting little white faeries

She’s beautiful in her whispering breath,

The way she spreads so silently

The grace with which each piece of her falls to the ground

The way she’s so temporary

I wish she’d stay

I wish she’d stay but a visit is fine

A visit it wonderful

Lady Winter

I love you.