Elucidating Questions

The first time it’s too late

It’s already in your head

Like a parasite

It’s a little hamster on a wheel

All you hear is the squeel of the plastic against plastic or metal

All you hear is suddenly a thousand reasons to try it again

And then it’s then

And the excuses pop in

My god it’s so easy I just let them win and then down I go

Following you

One two three come with me or whatever

Why would I ever not feel that way though the opposite of high is Literal Hell Daily™

I don’t know why I swallowed the fly

Perhaps

I’ll die

And while the desperate feed on the hungry

Above they exist without a thought

In all their glory

Their glory

From what hand came the starving

The same hand dealt the winner’s cards?

Or they have the chance

Every day to change it

And they don’t

Picture a torrent

Picture the tide

Picture the great wave

The wall

Of memories

At the boundary stands a lone man

Holding the flow back

Arms spread wide, body braced against the deep blackness beyond

Stay back

He’ll keep them safe

The treasured memories

From the knives of the reality of the present

Picture a lone woman

She screams the tide back

Stay back

So no one can ever see the shame

Each memory brings

To stop them from entering the world and colouring it

She turns on the memories

She hates them

They stand side by side, but when their gaze meets they know

They are not comrades

There’s no post on Sundays

Or Saturdays

But I don’t know why

In this week that never ends

I don’t understand the reason for it

Why is there no post on Sundays?

What is Sunday?

Why did they bother naming days when every day is the same?

It is merely another day

There is no day for the sun.

Not having won the battle does not mean loss of the war.

Having lost today to the disease does not create a loser in the outcome,

Merely outsmarted by a monster

Whose teeth show signs of all the blood it has tainted with its bite

Poisonous dripping saliva

Claws which grip tighter tighter tighter

I gave what I could

But I could not defeat the monster today

It doesn’t mean I’ve lost

Here I am trying to take back and call back

Clap back and say back

When all I wanted to do was love you

When all I wanted to do was find you

Every day

Every day I search to see if you’re there with me and I think

That I know the feeling of the meaning before

Why do you never wake up and see me or believe me or

Try to

Try to see me

Please try to see me

He had fun today

Dressed up as a girl

I saw those looks in the mirror when you caught the make up

Please can you just live with make up?

Two different ships crossed in the night

They say to eachother

Alone tonight

But it’s not a loneliness to be filled by others

Only you

Only you

Just you

But you never called

And you never do

When the only thing in the entire world

That I needed

Was to talk to you