Elucidating Questions

That’s not who he is anymore

That’s not who he is anymore

That’s not who he is anymore

Playing over and over like it’s sitting on my eardrum whispering it straight to my brain

Like dust which just flew in

It waits for the antibodies to kick in

But they have been off duty for so long

So the words keep creeping like a song

Like a song

Covering it up with sounds

Just another sound

To keep the ones from whispering so softly so loudly

Proximity erased the volume control

Some settings will have to be turned on over and over and over again

And so he’s within me without me

And that one thing was all I needed to feel whole again

Feelers

Reaching out to touch each thing

Individual

Learnt into the web of

Knowledge

The running theme of the messenger

The fastest runner running into a theme of running man

But what did you learn

Athena stands proudly on the clock waiting for her answer what did her prized higher education afford

A cute poodle

Apollo’s laughter

Fifteen dogs with human thoughts curl in on themselves until they are no more

From the second the blasted fleeting begins the mind is a terror waiting for its victim to give in

To whatever comes beyond

Vague

Yet beautiful

And in the fiddling childhoods of many

Many

Many

A young, independent, woman who experienced life to the extent her partner has no idea of her life

How separate we are

How differently the same

Like six kinds of chocolate you try them individually they taste

Different

You stuff them all in your mouth at once,

Suddenly it is all

Just

Chocolate

Does I don’t remember

Count?

Does The horror of knowing the past with the future in our hands

Count?

And what have I learnt

The cruelty of the human mind

Just an ink drop on the page just millions of memories lost at sea

Just sitting in a cold drafty London room remembering

The cruelty of humanity

But she can’t stay

She has to go there are too many stories too many hidden singular horrors

Billions of selves only experiencing themselves

The piano shatters into a million pieces upon impact and she realises all she will ever know is the feeling

Of the train

Digging into her slowly

He told me

Like blowing a candle out

There was a moment in time when it was alive

But now but now

The old ways are gone

They have faded into memories torn to shreds for a few extra bucks and keeping them

Quiet

Who?

Even they don’t know they wait for us to walk through the door and sign our names to drug companies to endure

Endure the life of the piano playing off tune and the not quite right of generations of memories

Faded paint on the walls of the tapestry

We swear it was only finished yesterday,

But the stories are so old

The tapestry knows not what time to depict

What would the world be like if

How would the world be if

And we see the damages crashing down in retrospect we see we

See

If only we could see in the moment when the mother screams into the microphone of life and the terror

The horror

Of lost babies is considered less important

If only if only

Once again we find ourselves on the battlefield of the past and the next

Seeing the wake of destruction run through the lands by the winner

Lest we forget and our land strong and free

All our countries are of thee

The voices never heard

Until it was too late

And then,

As every life does

They ended in the emptiness

Of at least there’s tomorrow

I made it to the day I was 28 years old

But where is the story to be told?

Feeling forever older

Worse

Not in the way you say

I wish I could see the light

I wish

I could take it all and be happy and feel again

Wouldn’t it be nice to feel again

I wanted to be free to tell him

Every second of every day

How worth it he is

Whether his ears can hear it or not

Who is there to stay with when I’m alone

Never tell me the story of my life

It’s not worth hearing

I looked everywhere

I look but I can’t find you

No matter what I do there is no you

Don’t hide beneath the waves don’t buy your time

And how could I be wrong before you

Never linger never loved

And I can hear the wolfkin crackle

How could the darkness be so keen when you were going without me

And coming to a sudden falter shackled knees

A trojan halter

Dressed as a horse would I enter your house and raise it above the lands?

Did you even consider that something young could quiver and grow between cupped hands?

Never heard I believe you

Never thought I would see you stop and walk away

And how could you be here dancing and singing just reading

Nothing between the lines?

And maybe I thought it, but you never walked it

This part you insist you play

So afford and excuse me the reason you used me in the least expensive way

I am a stubborn bitch

It is your fucking house

Don’t freak out not like anyone asked you to help

Don’t worry I just want to be notice

Hahaha

Notice me I’m here did you miss me?

No because I was never gone and I never will be because I can’t

But I can sure as hell make sure

I’m not here long if I get my way

Don’t tell me off or say

There’s no day but today

Because I tried that and anyway

It’s not happening