Elucidating Questions

No

I wish it was I wish it was.

I’ve tried so hard. I’ve tried so hard, but hide and seek is my weak point. I cannot find you.

I remember this and that. Not the moments that told the truth in tangibility.

I think he does. I think he knows. There’s no other option he’s seen everyone else. Yet here I am.

I know I miss you.

I will never finish a story with no ending.

Honestly there’s not a part of me that doesn’t need a week off with… anyone.

I never know if it shines or if it consumes all light. The heart of a forever broken heart.

The name used is never the right name. Oh how long it has been since I was, okay.

I have not felt okay in so long. How will I ever not lie upon being asked, How are you?

I’m waiting for someone who loves me. Even if I can’t be happy, I’ll take them.

I am where I have been.

I haven’t been.

There is no other who it could be. It could be only him.

Alone tonight alone. Simply because it doesn’t fit.

A strange list of strange things for the strange man and his list.

Don’t like hearing the music because it’s all so

The same

How to find inspiration within tapped minds run thin

Can’t find a place to hide in when it’s crashing farther into the black hole.

One day it will be one word.

But how could the heart be left undone so long?

When I know I don’t have one

I won’t find it in a song

Who the fuck are you?

No, honestly.

You keep showing up

But there’s no way the one showing up is the one who shows up

So tell me your secrets

I know you’re a he

What do I do?

You’re my best friend

And I don’t know you

I wonder how many there are

And it won’t be over because the clock keeps tick tick ticking

This truly beautiful play going on in front of me I wonder

It’s so flawless growing so loud

What could you want?

What could you possibly want?

Listen to the well of feelings they swirl

In the dark

The colours

Oh was it supposed to be funny?

How could I forget

One can’t write what they haven’t seen

Names upon names

Monday of the moon alone

There is this thing that keeps happening

I don’t know what you are but

You’re not him

And it’s still fun to have someone to fuck

How admirable

To give it all away just for her

How I think in my head without feeling

She should just love him

How I don’t because it hurts and as I hear it

It’s a truth that hurts to hear every time I create it within my head

And that I would do the same for him all he has to say is the one thing

How disgustingly poetic

That two sit so far apart willing to give it all away in all directions

One passed on, one past one.

That it was never a game except trying to come up with an answer to the war

Despite not having any

When the bubble burst what overflowed was

Pain of having never been heard

But this is a life of not being heard

Quiet reflections of self to self as the world disappears

One with everything, one with nothing

Everything to give and nothing to give.

Trust

Trust the silence

How unfortunate our existences

Can you imagine if it had gone right?

We’d be so happy.

That’s not who he is anymore

That’s not who he is anymore

That’s not who he is anymore

Playing over and over like it’s sitting on my eardrum whispering it straight to my brain

Like dust which just flew in

It waits for the antibodies to kick in

But they have been off duty for so long

So the words keep creeping like a song

Like a song

Covering it up with sounds

Just another sound

To keep the ones from whispering so softly so loudly

Proximity erased the volume control

Some settings will have to be turned on over and over and over again

And so he’s within me without me

And that one thing was all I needed to feel whole again