Elucidating Questions

Some days the music just gets me

Some days it’s picking a fight

Ten thousand jabs in the dark not making it right

I can’t shake the feelings

I can’t get beyond

The feeling I’ll never again feel love

And out in the darkness

This cavern of fools

Not one of them gets me

No exception to the rules

And even if I could believe they aren’t at me

The words

You

The words

They get to me

Lost in my head all these tiny fears woken by words which enter my ears

And I think

Maybe I don’t deserve to heal

If it does then what’s the deal?

I think

No one will miss what I’ve lost as a gift

I wanted to cherish it

But now it’s dead like everything else

The worst thing about love

Is I can love you

But you never have to acknowledge it

You never have to give it worth

Never more to leave here

My love becomes empty

Worthless meaningless

Once you have decided that my love is worthless

That is what it becomes

The worst thing about love

Is having to trust love with someone else

Don’t say that

Don’t say you’re sicker than most

Not when I’m standing here

Not when I’m sicker than anyone I’ve met

Don’t tell me you’re so sick when I look at the spectrum

All those colours in the dark where I should be too

At least we’d be together forever more

Where was anyone when I fell and couldn’t get up?

Besides trapped on the other side of the screen?

I didn’t get up I didn’t get up I learned to crawl

No one noticed at all

So who am I to judge?

I’m just more sick than anyone knows

Because it all just stays

Right here in my head

Look at the stars in twos

Look at them in twos

It’s not hard to do

In twos and then

Stare far between them

Do not look at the sky

Stare into space

You still see something you rarely noticed

In twos

If you have trouble start with Gemini

Start with Pollux and Castor

It’s between them and then two more and then two more

And when you can see them in twos and nothing more

Every star with a star

No matter how far they are they are in twos

And stare in to space

Just

Look at it

You may notice a star blink

Is it a piece of space between us and it

Or a change in the star?

Years ago

Oh

We’re in space

The stars go

In twos

Torn straight down the middle by your say and do attitude

How in the hell do you say that do this?

How in the hell?

And once I would have been overflowing with feelings dripping down like acrid citric water colours

Once upon a time

You were everything

Now you’re anything than what I have

Merely a comparison in my life

This is this

Unlike him

I love you.

Fuck you.

I do know what I’m missing

The love song Chester never sang

And we think he’s alive

But it makes us wonder why

If he truly is beside me

When did these lines start existing in this song?

He says we’re fighting

He says stop doing the fucking drugs

He screams

Is it kinda like a love song?

Or kinda like a concerned friend who actually cares?

Is it Chester or a wayward spirit who feels bad and hasn’t looked at me in a week?

Do we still feel love for eachother when you’re yelling at me?

How many excuses can you come up with?

Fingers in hair that grows and changes despite the flies making us wonder why

Gripping

Groaning

Roaring like a lion

I’m powerless!

He says like it’s an ironic knife settled between the third and fourth

Pages of his life when he wrote the wrong words

And an ironic afterlife

If any of it rings true

But I’m radioactive radioactive

And I’m not listening to you