Elucidating Questions

The second and least thought out

But you were the smallest no doubt

I’ve bathed you

I’ve hand fed you

We’ve bonded you lay your head on my chest to the side like a babe and listen to my heart

Whispering little peep

Twittering little peep

Even full wheeking little peep

Just small little sounds

Puttering around

Playing a game of lost and found

A game where you run from grumpy Ruby’s house to the kitchen and back

Where’s Ruby?

You found her!

Of course I can only react to your behaviours

You’re not quite trusting

You grumble when I pick you up rumble

Now it’s a pur

Now you’re snuggling close

Always filled with little kisses

Always filled with little peep kisses

I saw your eyes first

Never has I see a piggy with water

There’s fire deeper within

But I picked you

After picking you

It was almost my birthday

I wasn’t expecting a birthday

So I took home some babies

The first of the babies

The first of my strange new love

Such a strange relationship

And you agree quietly hiding away

Far away from me but

But when I’ve pick you up

Squeek squeek squeek

But you cuddle so close

You rest your little nose

Whisper your comfort

Yet there is this strange something

We both feel it

I see you feeling it

I’m in complete control

And you live no free life

But I know what you don’t

Dear Rue

You would be miserable elsewhere

You’re a grumpy little water balloon filled with fire

My beautiful grey piggy

I love you

I’ve loved you

I’ll love you

What am I going to do what am I going to do

I was working I was working it was an accident

I was working

I swear

It wasn’t on purpose

Don’t yell at me please don’t yell at me I just want to go back to work

I’m sorry please stop

I need you to stop

Please just stop

That’s what I remember from yesterday

But it won’t matter

It’s okay I knew it was going to happen the music told me so

I just don’t know why

Oh well

Working will be difficult

What else is new?

I want to go home

Can the piggies come?

One more pointless action

Written in the dust

Disappearing disappointment

Dreading going back

Dreading going back

Bowing to the fight inside

Saying no more no mas

It’s not lust it’s love

It’s love

I swear it is

I just won’t die for you

Is that the catch?

I feel like it’s the catch

Artemis caught the catch and then sent tiny wild things

Now the birds laugh in the bushes

Messengers

Just another pointless action

Because I love you

But there’s this trench

Some days the music just gets me

Some days it’s picking a fight

Ten thousand jabs in the dark not making it right

I can’t shake the feelings

I can’t get beyond

The feeling I’ll never again feel love

And out in the darkness

This cavern of fools

Not one of them gets me

No exception to the rules

And even if I could believe they aren’t at me

The words

You

The words

They get to me

Lost in my head all these tiny fears woken by words which enter my ears

And I think

Maybe I don’t deserve to heal

If it does then what’s the deal?

I think

No one will miss what I’ve lost as a gift

I wanted to cherish it

But now it’s dead like everything else

The worst thing about love

Is I can love you

But you never have to acknowledge it

You never have to give it worth

Never more to leave here

My love becomes empty

Worthless meaningless

Once you have decided that my love is worthless

That is what it becomes

The worst thing about love

Is having to trust love with someone else