Elucidating Questions

And it all goes

To the ocean

There no way

For devotion

Like how your silence heard

The commotion

I only had one shot

But I failed in the motion

And every time I called your name

Searching crowds to see your face

I screamed but was never heard

There is no voice in rhyme

This is the wrong swan

And it’s been so long

Proof I’m alive some

The empty words fall

Through open hearts all

They feel the words fall

And I know that I tried but what does that really mean?

Cause I don’t have another fight left in me.

You have to think it back

Think it back

To the point where everything fell down

And broke apart

There is nothing I can say to fix

Say to fix

All the pain that is hidden here

All the hurt that I always fear

Even if you run past the time still ticks on

It’s not as if I can turn off my self

I was just weak

I just wasn’t right

I only wanted to see

If there was anything good in me

But what I found was all you

And you never called back

So I follow the dark road

Seeking shelter and a hand to hold

I won’t look back

Never turning back

But the part that breaks my heart

Is how I wanted your love

It’s how I wanted your love

Sometimes I have to check if my heart’s still beating

There’s no one beside me to tell me I’m alive

I wander in my own existence

Frightened of the next time I feel my heart beating

Sometimes it’s a matter of seconds

Sometimes it goes on for days

This time spent only lonely

This time spend wasting away

The time that speeds forwards

And screams its ending comes

I don’t know where to go now

The darkness only speaks his name

I wish I could return

Return to whence I came

The cats are fighting outside

Howling and yowling

I can hear their claws in the cries

Get the fuck off my space you other cat how dare

It’s always times like these when I think of you and I wonder

How did I get your name so right?

From the beginning I called you cat (ネコ) and it suited you well but I never do get things right

It would be a name of all things

I hear them fighting

And I know that’s how you fight

Stand your ground

Ears back

Expression guarded

With claws concealed under the cloak

Sometimes I miss the way it used to be

Sometimes I wonder how it was ever so easy

Do you remember when I got frustrated and started writing zodiac poetry?

No, you don’t.

See this ordeal I’ve been through has been entirely solitary

And I thought at the end you’d be there waiting but I thought too much

I do that

You’d know

But you don’t

And over there suddenly it makes perfect sense

The sobriety the truth grants you

I like her dog too

Now I understand

Now I know why it was then that I jumped

Because you want to marry her anyway

Oh the feelings that one calls

You’ll marry her, be happy

And I’ll be here

I’ll be here

And you won’t know the half of it

Do you ever wish you could stop sounding like a rabid victim constantly spewing victim spit like it’s the new meme?

Or is that just me?

I wish someone could step inside me for a moment

Give my memories a good look over

Experience them as me without me getting in the way

And tell me how this always happens

Throwing popcorn and screaming

Why won’t she say anything?

Why did he say that?!

I don’t know where you found popcorn in my brain but if it’s in my brain it’s mine

Put it back

That would be typical too

Whomever they is could just find popcorn I’ve been searching around this place for a fucking map but

At least I have popcorn

It’s no chicken

But it’ll do