Elucidating Questions

Do you remember when I got frustrated and started writing zodiac poetry?

No, you don’t.

See this ordeal I’ve been through has been entirely solitary

And I thought at the end you’d be there waiting but I thought too much

I do that

You’d know

But you don’t

And over there suddenly it makes perfect sense

The sobriety the truth grants you

I like her dog too

Now I understand

Now I know why it was then that I jumped

Because you want to marry her anyway

Oh the feelings that one calls

You’ll marry her, be happy

And I’ll be here

I’ll be here

And you won’t know the half of it

Do you ever wish you could stop sounding like a rabid victim constantly spewing victim spit like it’s the new meme?

Or is that just me?

I wish someone could step inside me for a moment

Give my memories a good look over

Experience them as me without me getting in the way

And tell me how this always happens

Throwing popcorn and screaming

Why won’t she say anything?

Why did he say that?!

I don’t know where you found popcorn in my brain but if it’s in my brain it’s mine

Put it back

That would be typical too

Whomever they is could just find popcorn I’ve been searching around this place for a fucking map but

At least I have popcorn

It’s no chicken

But it’ll do

Your love is not the killing kind

It’s not

Not in the least slightest most miniscule way is your love the killing kind

I’m sure she’s beautiful

Someone to stay near you

Now you’ve moved on and no one’s gone

You get everything

Never the one

Never the one

Always leaving

Always

But it’s not the killing kind

Never could a love that burns so beautiful blue and pure through and through

Could be any kind of killing kind

Not that it matters

Not that any of this matters

The moments I’m glad you’re happy are the most painful

Nothing could be more perfect

Sometimes I can feel the magic at my fingertips

The wind, rushing, as its tendrils feel the world

I feel it back

If I feel the tingling in my fingertips

I know it has me

For the rain I call the clouds

And for the clouds I call the wind

And if the path is right and strong

There will be some before long

Do you ever feel so lonely

So lost

So insignificant

So pointless

So far beyond what you wanted

So utterly destroyed inside

So empty

So desperate

So alone

So totally alone

That you just cry?

Even though you know

Crying never makes it better

The glass falls down your cheeks as you gasp for a grasp

Anything

For anything

But the tide never held the storm

One such life preserver

I hope you find that one such life preserver

I hope someone can take you

Or a picture of a cute animal

Or anything

I hope when you’re drowning

Like I am

That someone reaches out to you