Elucidating Questions

These daytime nightmares are wearing me down

This should would could haven’t won’t never just keeps going round

The thoughts of having thought of sleep because it’s there

Only ever do I remember it having been there in the darkness the dark place the dream space the only world I understand

Never had I thought perhaps it wasn’t worth a closer look I merely never would without being told to

I’m running out of time to have a happy life my days are numbered and they’ll end

When they do will it be without having known

What a real ending looks like

Any good one

Lucky him

Lucky you

Wrapped up in blue

And never to be seen before under this sun the darkness does fall

With heavy sighs and lost breaths I see the solidarity of being together

When no one has cared or would in the reality of it

And when true happiness grace the eyes and ears of others does wanting it not taint my own heart?

And following the pain of having nothing to say back

When there could have been if not for something I will never know

To have a feeling of wanting that which has not only not been granted but not offered

Within this eternity wracked and filled with this emptiness I feel would wanting it not just make me darker?

The purple shed to give way to the black hole left within

Without him

But lucky her lucky him

I never get used to losing the win

Please be true,

Please be true,

Please be true

My only words for you

Spoken empty in a dark place they resonate

Words that can’t do anything alone

Everything and more

If there would be could be anything good to come it would be you

Silent in the face of thinking you’ve found it

Maybe this time you’ve found it

Oh dawn riser

You’re the view of him from the ground

Oh dawn riser your laughter is twisted and right

Dawn riser you never can quite tell the truth

Tell me truly, is it weird I like you?

Can the heat of the joker trickster laughter

Is he having fun?

While you keep your mouth running like a gun

But I know I can’t

Know I can

Love without trusting

Empty backwards plans

Dawn riser

I see you rise

Just do that

You don’t hear me

Sing every note

But I’m alive now

Hope fades into

End of the feeling of knowing the way the guitar fades in and out

The only place safe enough to pull the notes from before they start

Like a line pulled forward by will of knowledge I just feel it

No dear friend

Always will

Love you still

But I’ve already reached

My end

String sound

When I speak words they’re bounced back at me

It’s like no one hears the words I say

They face another way

I still don’t know if it’s because I just said them in my head

Perhaps they can’t hear me

I usually fall silent

They have other things to say

But did I fall silent before or after I said the unheard

Words were said right? Maybe, perhaps I imagined it