Elucidating Questions

Waking up is so difficult

What a strange life this is

That my body wishes to just keep sleeping, and insists waking is exhausting

Painful

Caffeine is the medicine I take in the morning to wake me up to the point of

Whatever my body allows today

Marijuana is the medicine I take to ease the pain

Again and again

What would it be like in a world where I didn’t need these things to feel alive

Or, I should say, awake?

If only if only I knew.

See but the reason why it’s all about you

Everything is

Because at the end I want to send it to you

Every word every sentence every letter

How I wish to send you every letter

Dear Joshua,

Today I sit with a man I do not love, doing things lovers do

Do not send you a second more of anything to break this silent now

Just know I thought of you

As I did and do and will

I feel certain you are well

I only do have to worry if you’re alone I believe or else I’m infringing on a beautiful love story

Here would be a great day to just

Finally be free of you

How I loved the idea of discovering love with you

I wish it was dark out now

It’s 5pm

Oh

I wish it was winter

I wish I could find a comforting place to lie in the sun and not end up the colour of a lobster

No, no metaphors

I am that colour

Run from the sun hide from the sun

The summer has come I must remain out of sight like a vampire in real life

And I do not drink from humans

So far from where I started

So far from what I wanted

Where did you come from?

That’s what you would like to know

Skittering scared

Run run run!

Here and there

I wish I could calm you but I know you

I knew you from the start

Another misfit

Who would end up alone

In someone’s back room

I couldn’t not take you

Knowing the order

Knowing you

Knowing Spinel was saying no

To being on the bottom and she wasn’t interested in spot two

I foresaw fighting

So I brought in a tiny terrified black thing

So afraid

So quiet until

Until she’s not quiet and then the voice I hear coming out of the full grown hamster I mean very small piggie

Is the loudest in the cage by decibels

I do not know where her tiny lungs keep all that sound but loud piggie

Is also so tiny

Time to start showing you world is not so scare

The world is not so scary tiny pig

Mine isn’t anyways

I’m here to love you

It’s all I could find to do while I wait to die

Onyx

You’re safe because you’re my lifeline

You’re spoilt because I love you

What inspires you?

Every moment could be recorded

Just taking down the seconds

What could inspire me? But everything, but nothing

Empty on the inside the outside flows by in colourful colourless emptiness filled with just some stuff that ended up here

Just some stuff

Like everything and everything is like or related to or can like totally be likened to everything else

Because why not?

Because I love him

Because it’s nothing without him

I feel like I’m botting in real life like it’s just on idle right now it could totally get better

It doesn’t I just tell myself that while singing a sad song all along about a boy I never knew that shone the colour blue in the night where me and you

Were first tapped alone together in the same room

Waiting for Druzy

Pondering Tanzy

She was supposed to be exactly who she was for a bit

Until Spinel proved disability doesn’t equal anything less than what the being wants

Now she hovers at the top with Spinel who ever is in whichever side of the cage is the winner

Of course there is Ruby I figured she would be friendly

They’re friendly now but she was merely the underling

Odd to watch

Brought Tanzy after a misunderstanding with a fungus

Yes bring more piggies into a cage with ringworm

Don’t worry it’s mostly harmless just annoying

My god we were both so annoyed

Spinel was fine she always is

I digress

Tanzanite’s mess is she can’t sit still open the doors one side of the room other side of the room other side of the

HOLY FUCK RUN

To the other side of the room

Oh she realised it was nothing half way and just kept running for the fun of it

She greets and approaches and one time I scratched her ear but she doesn’t like change but she loves stuff

And food and food

She came in and just ruled the roost

But I saw it coming

Spinel Spinel

Head tilt?

What Hell would have to be to strike a young pig who cannot now stand …I

The pig is now standing

Oh

And the pig would not take the ground

Such valour

Just watching her owning the place makes me giggle

But Tanzy sweet Tanzy

So greedy you are so

So

Greedy

I can feel the giggles coming when you walk up

Oh hey nice carrot

And take it and run

You just had one!

It’s okay I have six more

Poor Ruby

It’s always Ruby

I brought you home and saw the future

Your struggle with your smaller younger sister

Or cousin perhaps

I often realise I am holding a small group of females hostage and celibate their entire lives

Their a nunary I think

Ruby loves Tanzy

Tanzy loves Ruby

I sing this mockingly because I love them and I’m happy to see them kissing all over the place

Tanzanite came home, because the herd wasn’t balanced.

I love her because she’s a take charge give me everything kind of leader

And she rounds out Spinel’s sharing leadership

Beautiful piggies.

How I love you.