Elucidating Questions

Doubling

Shakespeare

If there

Were

Two of you

Yet no

Not of me

That I could be

Caught in love

At first sight

A duality

What did he try to say?

That no one could know now

Not of me

Only to hear the silent

Another world

To be

To be

Not of me

Yet, no,

Not of me

Waking up is so difficult

What a strange life this is

That my body wishes to just keep sleeping, and insists waking is exhausting

Painful

Caffeine is the medicine I take in the morning to wake me up to the point of

Whatever my body allows today

Marijuana is the medicine I take to ease the pain

Again and again

What would it be like in a world where I didn’t need these things to feel alive

Or, I should say, awake?

If only if only I knew.

See but the reason why it’s all about you

Everything is

Because at the end I want to send it to you

Every word every sentence every letter

How I wish to send you every letter

Dear Joshua,

Today I sit with a man I do not love, doing things lovers do

Do not send you a second more of anything to break this silent now

Just know I thought of you

As I did and do and will

I feel certain you are well

I only do have to worry if you’re alone I believe or else I’m infringing on a beautiful love story

Here would be a great day to just

Finally be free of you

How I loved the idea of discovering love with you

I wish it was dark out now

It’s 5pm

Oh

I wish it was winter

I wish I could find a comforting place to lie in the sun and not end up the colour of a lobster

No, no metaphors

I am that colour

Run from the sun hide from the sun

The summer has come I must remain out of sight like a vampire in real life

And I do not drink from humans

So far from where I started

So far from what I wanted

Where did you come from?

That’s what you would like to know

Skittering scared

Run run run!

Here and there

I wish I could calm you but I know you

I knew you from the start

Another misfit

Who would end up alone

In someone’s back room

I couldn’t not take you

Knowing the order

Knowing you

Knowing Spinel was saying no

To being on the bottom and she wasn’t interested in spot two

I foresaw fighting

So I brought in a tiny terrified black thing

So afraid

So quiet until

Until she’s not quiet and then the voice I hear coming out of the full grown hamster I mean very small piggie

Is the loudest in the cage by decibels

I do not know where her tiny lungs keep all that sound but loud piggie

Is also so tiny

Time to start showing you world is not so scare

The world is not so scary tiny pig

Mine isn’t anyways

I’m here to love you

It’s all I could find to do while I wait to die

Onyx

You’re safe because you’re my lifeline

You’re spoilt because I love you

What inspires you?

Every moment could be recorded

Just taking down the seconds

What could inspire me? But everything, but nothing

Empty on the inside the outside flows by in colourful colourless emptiness filled with just some stuff that ended up here

Just some stuff

Like everything and everything is like or related to or can like totally be likened to everything else

Because why not?

Because I love him

Because it’s nothing without him

I feel like I’m botting in real life like it’s just on idle right now it could totally get better

It doesn’t I just tell myself that while singing a sad song all along about a boy I never knew that shone the colour blue in the night where me and you

Were first tapped alone together in the same room