Elucidating Questions

Poetry

This is the general category of fuckery that goes on and on and doesn’t seem interested in stopping.

  • I wish I could properly describe the pain

    Make you feel it too just for moment

    The feeling of having someone pulling your muscles off

    The feeling of someone taking hold of you and squeezing as hard as they can

    Thousands of tiny needles traveling up and down the arms and legs

    My leg giving out as I’m walking

    I wish I could describe the feeling

    Of something desperately clawing its way out of my body

    Of a sharp knife plunging in

    I wish I could describe the pain

    So you could feel it too

    And then maybe you’d understand

    When I say “it hurts”

    What it actually means

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  • I wish I could be beautiful

    A beautiful soul

    A beautiful face

    Beautiful

    But there’s a darkness in me

    It only comes out for those who show it

    I only give what I get.

    I cannot be beautiful

    Because I have such ugliness

    It shows on my face

    I am the ugliness

    I wish I could be beautiful

    Maybe then you’d see me

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  • I would murder them

    I would pull off all their finger nails and toe nails

    Cut their ears and nose off

    Cut between each finger and toe

    Break their arms and legs

    And leave them there to suffer

    I would laugh while they ask for sympathy

    They never showed the children

    I would shave their heads and show them their mangled faces in the mirror

    Tell them

    This is your true face

    You monster

    I would become the worst monster to show them exactly what they did to those children

    I would destroy them

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  • I miss you

    But I don’t understand what that means

    I only saw you

    In a trick of the light

    Standing on the stage

    I don’t know what it means to love you

    Be loved by you

    Don’t know anything about you

    But I miss you

    And then I yearn to see you

    And when I go to find you

    I only miss you more

    But when I try to hide away

    And keep it from the light of day

    It only leads to feeling like I haven’t had that special something

    Something that you give me

    I wish that you could see me

    I miss you

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  • Lovely young lady

    You forget that you’re young

    You forget that twenty years happens three times in a long life

    I wish you wanted a long life

    Wish I could put my hands on your head and take those thoughts away

    I want to give you a hug

    And slap you across your face

    The sun is beautiful

    And we are here

    And it is a miracle

    And there’s so much more to see than him

    Than him

    I get stuck on him

    I just switched looked up phased out and lost myself in him

    And switched back and came to write you some more letters.

    But there’s more than him

    And he is beautiful and perfect and thus entirely out of reach for anyone but those of his explicit choosing

    Just because reality is a bitch doesn’t mean you have to hate it

    I love it in spite of it

    I’ll love it stubbornly because no one seems to love it

    I wish I could find you and answer

    I wish I was more than I am so I could help you

    Beautiful young lady

    You’re on my thoughts too.

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  • Can I have your attention?

    Just a sad little sound

    Wishing I could burn bright enough for you

    And I spin silently

    Endless days in and out

    It just happens it just goes

    So lost in the things no one knows

    I wish I could have you for just five minutes

    Be worth your time for just five minutes

    The sad little sounds falling all around

    What does it ever mean

    What could it ever mean

    If you could just give me a sign that I’m not nothing

    My eternity without you

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