Elucidating Questions

The moon

Did you know you’re smaller than Saturn and Jupiter?

But you wouldn’t know it tonight as you rise

Painted by clouds floating by

Your face is partially obscured by the earth

Her darkness on your visage

Your light hits the water and creates streaks of gold mirroring your golden harvest colours

This is the part of the month where you slip into the night as your face disappears behind the great mother

But I cherish those times when you visit

Jupiter is a big bright st-

Planet

It was almost a star. It’s almost a brown dwarf.

We almost had two suns.

But it didn’t

But it’s big!

And bright

And it’s personification is a misogynistic, sad excuse for “god of justice”.

Rapist.

What kind of god of justice would rape someone?

Seriously Greece?

How unfortunate.

Anyways

Jupiter

Extra massive and cold

I find more warmth in their light

Which is just more sun light and they happen to be there, but

It’s so warm

More warmth in their light than in most humans

There’s no telling what secrets of mine Saturn knows

I’ve told him everything

After a long day I look at him and feel how I feel and truly be honest with my body for a moment with him

I’m exhausted

But I don’t express the half of it to anyone but him

Always there spinning even if I can’t see him

Massive and cold

Jupiter is an eavesdropper

But my secrets are safer with Saturn

No getting tired of how tired I am

No getting annoyed with how much I hurt

The one time of the day when I don’t feel like an inconvenience

I don’t know if I’m loved

But I am accepted

I’d rather speak my truth to spinning balls of gas than to any human

I use my invisibility to my own advantage

Do you know how many things I’ve seen?

Unseen

How many things I’ve said?

Unheard

I have made many a mistake that never ended up affecting me because

They never heard

How many times have I wished the words back into my mouth only to not be heard?

Probably more than most

I don’t know how you become invisible

But I am

I made a mistake at work today and I feel terrible about it

I can’t sleep

Because my anxiety wants to think about it over and over until

Does anyone know until what?

Just over and over?

But why brain?

It’s midnight and we have to be up early

There’s time to worry in the morning but

My mind still wants to run around in circles

Telling me I made a mistake

I wish my mind would make a mistake and then I would spend hours telling it about it

Someone tell my brain I will be back later I am now on break

A break from my mind

I wish

No future is ever clear

Have you looked outside?

And seen the billion billion billion possibilities of anything

And something always goes sideways

And when it’s future becoming now it’s always messy

I don’t know whether to embrace the absolute chaos of the universe

Or stick my head in the ground and pretend it doesn’t exist

The possibilities are endless and anything can happen

Physics?

I raise you black holes.

Anything

What if this is just something that happens?

A universe explodes and then expands and then shrinks into a tiny marble and explodes again

And anything can happen in between

Life?

As unlikely as that was.

And whatever it means to be alive.

I wonder if there’s something harvesting the energy our universe gives off as it expands and collapses.

No not gods, but giants are bigger than the universe

There could be more than one universe

The ultimate question could have been

Could there be a universe?

And the answer is simply yes and we are a product of that answer

Do we answer to anybody?

Isn’t that terrifying?

Think of all those Christians who are only “good” because “God” told them so…

How many “good” people would be terrible knowing there’s nothing to answer to?

Maybe it’s better to (probably) incorrectly assume there’s a higher power just so that all of these worthless sacks of meat will behave themselves.

I pray to the sun that the sun keeps shining

I pray to the earth that the earth keeps spinning

I pray to the galaxy to protect us from asteroids and wandering black holes

You know, pointlessly I ask them to do these things

But really I’m just a desperate little human.

And there are billions of possibilities

That somehow all fit in the universe