Elucidating Questions

I want to go home

My soul whimpers softly

And I ask it for the thousandth time

Where is home?

Because no matter where I am, who I am with, what I am doing

That little whimper catches me and I don’t know where to go

Where is home?

Why does my soul cry so softly

Like a child who wishes nothing more

Than to go home

If I knew where that place was I would go there

But no

No I don’t know where it is

I wish I could go there

I wish I could go home

People don’t understand me

When I say I love you

They say I love you too

And then go

And they don’t know how I hurt when they go

So many temporary people just passing by

I miss them

But do they think of me?

I think not

I’m always the one to reach out

No one reaches to me they’re just gone and I don’t know where they went

Thanks object permanence.

It’s never the lost relationships I mourn

Only the ones that seemed fine but never turned into anything

Why do I love so easily?

Why does it slip through my fingers?

There once was a boy

Who I very much loved

He was so sweet and gentle

And beautiful

I think of him now in the beginning of sunset

He was so gentle with me

I loved him so

And he knew that

But he did not love me

And we both knew that

But he was so gentle

A bit of a flake

But he bought me flowers for my birthday

Just because

See in the waning sunlight I see how he sparkles even now

In my memory any way

I hope he still sparkles

Where ever he is

That’s how you should treat another human

He did so good

So I asked

Because I was curious

Because I wanted to know if anyone else could see the change in seasons

And I was right

No one noticed

Except my mum,

Which isn’t a surprise because she’s part Gaia. Very in tune.

I could make a mention

Every year of when the leafs change

Just to show them I’m not crazy

Why don’t they notice things like I do?

Don’t they feel it?

Fall just got here

Why don’t they feel it?

Why doesn’t anyone feel things like I do?

Someone out there

Is there anyone out there

Like me?

Listen for an answer

Hear mocking in the words spoken through else’s mouth

I just wish I could find

The missing part of me

Isn’t it strange?

Isn’t it peculiar?

The world outside is considered harsher

But she can keep the plants alive

All these humans with their dead and dying plants

Mother Earth keeps them alive outside

And they consider the brutality of the wild to be worse

But when the wolf kills the bunny the wolf was hungry

And when your dog kills your bunny the dog just wanted to tear it to shreds and destroy it like a toy

So which is more brutal?

Do you think they wilt inside because the air is not fresh?

The water not rain?

Is the dog more violent than the wolf because of his closeness to humans?

His proximity to our violence?

Is outside truly more brutal than working

Slaving

Every day of your life just to die with 50¢ in the bank you leave to your little brother?

I mean I suppose you can’t just…go… And live… Outside you’d need furs, which is why they wore them probably

But I wonder how much harder it is

To be wild

I’m so domesticated I can hardly imagine, but the plants seem to get it

Always listen to plants they’re older than us and far better at being at harmony with the Earth

Or maybe something inbetween

You get a house but you get your own food

I wonder if the wilds are truly wild

To someone born within them