Elucidating Questions

I don’t suppose there’s an actual reason for suffering

There’s probably no meaning or reason

But people do suffer it’s a part of being people

I wonder if animals suffer

I suppose the answer is obvious

Life seems to suffer

It seems unfair that it’s simply a truth of living

I wonder if planets and stars suffer

Is being sucked into a black hole painful?

I suppose it would have to feel to… Well feel.

Do plants suffer?

Does an insect?

Maybe it’s not life

Aware life

Though you’d have to prove to me that plants are not aware

In some strange unthinkable way of being aware

I don’t like the apparent laws of the universe

They seem firmly skewed in favour of black holes

Maybe black holes are God’s favourite thing and we’re just here with them

I wish we could live in a world that tried to minimise the suffering of everything that suffers

Does that hurt? Okay it will never happen again I’m sorry.

Wouldn’t that be nice

I hate every customer today

If you were a customer I hate you too

If you hadn’t decided to do your holiday shopping at the last possible second

I could have spent today with my family for the first time in two years

Now all these disgusting people wish me merry Christmas with a smile on their face like they didn’t steal Christmas from me with their poor personal planning

No I couldn’t book it off

No I couldn’t get it covered

According to a certain high placed bitch with a stick up her ass and no empathy who gets to spend Christmas with her family

“Christmas Eve is essential”

It is essentially ruined thanks to you

But she’ll never care about it

It pisses me off that there are levels of empathy

Everyone should have to have as much empathy as I do so when they go to write poems about how much they hate customers they feel kind of bad

And wished all those fuckers merry Christmas anyways

I’m nice to them anyway

You only get 60-80 Christmases or Hanukkahs or Equinoxes or Yule or whatever however you welcome the return of the Sun

Seriously idiots it’s all about the return of the Sun

I just wanted to spend the first one in two years with my family

But I have literal Scrooge two seats above me

Dumbass doesn’t even realise she’s a pawn too

And greedy, stupid, practically frothing at the mouth customers to deal with

Trapped in the pyramid scheme that is working in retail

Merry Christmas rich assholes at the top I genuinely hope you stop breathing

Just stop. Air is wasted on you.

I hate every customer today.

Merry fucking Christmas to you too

I wonder if she ever says anything positive about him

If I was with my one true love I’d tell them they are beautiful every day

I wish I could put myself in the running

In the running to be in love

Just find someone who thinks something of me

Maybe have as much fun as him and her

Maybe have more fun

If I could be in love with someone who loved me as well

I wonder if I’d even be good at it

I wish I could have the chance to try

I wish I had the chance to try

You can dance for me any day

Any way

You’re beautiful

Every time I see you I wish I could tell you just how much

How much I love you

How much seeing you means to me

How this entire exhausting day in retail hell was worth it because you were in it too.

I couldn’t help but smile

I couldn’t help but laugh

If you could only feel how I feel seeing you

I hope she told you you were beautiful today

I hope she smiled when you danced

I just want you to be happy and appreciated

I appreciate you

Sometimes I wonder whether it’s appropriate for me to be writing yearning after a married stranger

And others I’m so caught up in the moment I don’t even think

It’s not rational but I’m not trying to be rational when I write about him just

This is the space where I can feel anything

And anything includes being madly in love with

With

An idea?

A voice?

His music?

But you see he has these mannerisms that come out in videos that make my heart twist with

With love

His voice makes me feel like I’ve just come home

His eyes so blue so deep I forget my often miserable place in life for a second I

Just see him.

This modern era has such imbalance as

He is a stranger I know very well

Yet know nothing at all

And it’s strange because I’ve known him most of my life now

But I’m invisible to him completely

Which means I’m invisible to any wife he has

Which means why the hell not write a couple thousand poems for a stranger I guess

All I know is that I have experienced being in love a few times and this is

This is not obsession

This is not obsession because I no longer write five poems a day because my thoughts won’t leave him like when I was sick

I feel something so complex and unnameable

That’s why I keep it to myself in my little box on the internet

I’ll just leave it in the little box on the internet

I love you

I wish I could show you

I want to echo you

Every word would follow through

Set alight by the fire of your voice

Extracted from the vice

The grip of pain the seized released

Living for the sound

Just another hit

Come on give me it

I want to hear the slide of the notes out from inside

Give me it, give me it

Another word from your lips

The very sound of ecstasy

Baby please give it to me

I want to hear your voice