Elucidating Questions

There’s nothing that makes my day more than the way dogs perk up when they see me

Someone happy to see me

It’s nice for someone to be happy to see me

I whisper hellos trying to stop the owner from hearing

I don’t want to talk to people

Dogs only please

I feel wanted for a moment

It’s nice to feel wanted.

I like feeling wanted

I miss you

Your music takes me home when I’m stuck waiting for a bus

Astoria is my soul song

I wonder if I’ll ever be in the same room as you again

Or if I’ll ever hear your voice for real

Wouldn’t it be lovely?

Perhaps one sided

I wish I could be everything to you that you are to me

I wish I could be

But you don’t need a me

When you have everything already

Maybe it’s you who isn’t worthy of me

That’s a laugh

I just wonder if I could be that to someone else

As broken and beaten as I am

It’s a question of worth, really

You who is magnificent

And I who has nothing to give

Is the cost of worth your soul?

It’s hard to be this way

Always wishing in your direction

Knowing in my soul the gods laugh at me each time I do

No one has missed you like I do

It’s a unique type of missing

Like in my soul I feel I know you

And in my head I don’t

I miss something that may not ever exist

You’re not lonely anymore

Does that mean you don’t survive?

I’d rather you did

The clovers are out but they’re wilted from lack of rain

I saw a bee trying to gather pollen in vain

And if that wasn’t just the most upsetting thing I’ve seen today

The plants which belong here being burned to death

And the bees who feed us struggling to find food because of it

The world’s all wrong

Everything is wrong

I just wish it would go back to normal

I just wish I had the power

Wish I could scream in their heads simultaneously

You’re fucking killing her!

Instead I just feel pity for the poor bee

Poor bee

I feel badly for bugs stuck on the bus

Especially wasps and bees

Ants

Colony critters absconded from where they belong

I tried to think up a way that would prevent bugs from being accidentally brought on board

But it wasn’t accessible

I often wonder if humans are capable of not doing harm

But there’s really no way

It makes me sad to think that

I’m well aware that humans are capable of reducing their harm by exponential amounts

But short of existing in bubbles and feeding off of lab grown nutrients

There is no way to exist completely without harm to other living beings

Point just orchestrated in front of me

Humans are angry these days

It would be nice if they would be angry about the right things

I was raised in a world with a bomb always set to go off

And now the world is bombs set to go off everywhere

So hell basically

And here I am concerned about bugs on buses

Well I will walk through hell with a smile why not

And doing as little harm as possible

The delicacy of the dance

Making every working moment bubbly and sweet

Only to turn it off afterwards and crash

The dance is

Making sure the strength of the crash is only so much

That I have no other choice but to crash

It would be nice to have a choice

The sun is so too close and so too hot

It’s making setting into things difficult

Always over heating

I wonder if there’s somewhere better than this that I could go

I wonder where home truly is

I wonder when I’m spread too thin

Still get that yearning to return

How I wish I could choose to be in a place where I don’t crash every day of work

I’m not doing well

But that’s not new