Poetry
This is the general category of fuckery that goes on and on and doesn’t seem interested in stopping.
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When you need help
But reaching out feels like a cry for help
And it is a cry for help but people frown upon these things
So you just sit and cry because who could help anyways?
Death is inevitable
I’ve lost two beautiful piggies so far and it doesn’t seem to get easier
The anxiety of the pre-mourning setting in
Watching her slowly stop doing everything she loved and just lie
I feel so alone and I feel so helpless
That there’s nothing I can do but watch
If I had the power to fix it
If love was enough to fix it
But it’s not
I just hope her life was worth it
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The Sun brought me here
Right?
If you think about it
We’re star dust
It feels like the least I can do is spend my days loving him
It makes me want to stay
After all if he brought me here
Does my purpose really matter?
But to be a local star gazer
Our local star
To think that somewhere
Somewhere
He is not visible
Unknown
Betelgeuse is massive in comparison.
I wonder how far he shines
I don’t think I’d want to go beyond his light
I wonder if he knew how awful we’d be collectively
People say the world is mostly good with a few loud bad ones
But that’s not what I see
A handful of good people, a handful of terrible people
And the rest are capable of both great evil and great good but instead choose to be voiceless minions to the evil that is society
Placid nothing people upholding horrors humanity tries to hide
Did he know this? When he made us?
I look around and everything seems to fit with nature
Has some kind of role in nature
But we
We who hold the ability to see the sun and recognise what it is
We’re going to destroy this green jewel with our callousness
Did you really put us here to wreak havoc?
It would be a disservice to take this life given to me and do nothing but evil to this planet
I wish I could hear your light
Maybe you’d have some wisdom for me to help fix this place
I wish I could fix this place so you always had a pretty gem to look at
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Here’s another one for you Ashley
You’ve been loud today
Like very here
I wonder if I’m the only one with you in my mind
But I know your relations are still continuing this march without you
It’s sad we have to call them brave
I know you didn’t mean to make them brave
I know you didn’t mean for thousands upon thousands of heartbroken souls
Sweet lady, I only wish you had graced this planet with your presence for one more day
And found the light to move forward
Oh if only we could have shouldered that weight you carried
How many hands would have reached up to help you?
This world is less colourful without you, beautiful one
But I promise to keep the promise you asked us to keep
Aware that in this I am not marching alone
We came together Ashley
We take care of eachother
And I promise to never go back on that promise
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Chester I miss you.
I hear the words again but not like before
Some of them stick and I look to you for the answer
Was this a sign someone was supposed to see?
What I wouldn’t give to have you back here
Ashley I miss you too
Gone so young, you didn’t make it as far as I have
And it’s unfair
Surely the world would do better with you both and without me
Should I wish to trade places?
If I could bring you back here
But then I think
Here isn’t such a good place
You both didn’t want to be here so much you found a way to disappear
I wish I could fix it for you
So that men with feelings didn’t feel the need to keep it inside until they explode or implode
So that those of us that help the helpless didn’t feel helpless themselves
I’m sorry
I’m sorry I’m so small I tried so hard to be big enough to make a difference but I’m no one
If I could only be someone
I would make a world where both of you fit in
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It makes me wonder if you’re just rich like all the rest
Blind to the realities of life now
Blind to the fact that there are people worse of than me out there and their numbers are growing
Why wasn’t there a fundraiser out together by rich people for the wildfires?
And then there’s those folks that are like
Well they earned it
I guarantee someone near them had to go without so they could make their money
It’s just so unbalanced
I don’t think anyone is worth millions, let alone billions
Whose labour did they steal to get there?
But it’s made that way
For some stupid reason
I don’t know, at least the bards are profiting?
But at the same time no?
God it’s so complicated
This class inequality
How am I supposed to be happy for you when I can’t even afford my phone bill?
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In a fight with the world but I’m winning
Yeah, somehow
I mean I haven’t given up yet and I’ve had copious reason to
I’m still getting up in the morning and living my life despite it being too damn expensive and too damn hard
And I haven’t given up walking yet even though my heart condition begs for it
Okay I’m not sure if that one’s winning or denial
Oh hi Chester
I’m winning right?
I’m kicking and screaming every step of the way but I’m going and they don’t want me to
So many theys
The ocean is truly beautiful after a delicious meal
I hope they all find paradise and feel like they’re the ones that don’t fit for once
Still finding the beauty in the snowless mountains despite everyone constantly trying to bleed the colour from the world
I hope I’m winning.
I suppose I’d have to bend in some way for them to be winning
Moments of despair but still not bending
Yeah, I’m definitely fighting
I’m probably winning.
Elucidating Questions 