Elucidating Questions

I know I’m not quite human

Some other thing

I don’t know if there is a person who can love me

I don’t think that person exists

I wonder if someone could pretend for a while

I don’t want a life of tens of relationships

I just wanted one

But that doesn’t seem to be in my cards

No matter how I shuffle I’m always alone

There’s more to life than love

I know that but

I really wanted someone to love me

At least I have the Sun

I don’t know if any other human has the same relationship as I do with the Sun

Him, literally keeping me alive

Me loving him until he gets too close

But human relationships

I may be selfish but I want human relationships too

To be connected to someone

Is there a one?

I don’t want to walk this lonely road alone anymore

I’m the first to see the evil in the rich

They bleat for compassion for monsters while ignoring the refugee boat of hundreds

I’m not saying I don’t have money because of them, well except I work for them so technically they’re stealing my labour

Oh isn’t capitalism fun

Rich people tend to lack morals

Which is why I really wonder if any of these bards we’ve made rich actually have any feeling

I’ve only heard one of them address the issue

Shout out to Imagine Dragons but not really because, meh, still rich people

Still singing about being zeros when they’re literally some of the most popular people on the planet

Like you’re bigger than Jesus was and that’s still not enough for you?

Get over yourself

Always gaining off the backs of others and demanding more

More money, more attention, more adventures to the bottom of the sea

Oops

What does implosion sound like?

I hope they all implode

Flock to the bottom of the ocean to see the graves of the poor people a bunch of rich people doomed

And then some extras because the Titanic wasn’t done yet

I bet if I asked you you’d say you’re not rich

Except you are and I kind of hope you implode too

But I don’t

It’s complicated, isn’t it?

You who is exactly what I hate about the world of cis white man

Do you have any opinions?

Human rights? Racial justice? Do you even have a favourite food?

On the fence you sit allowing the abuse to continue because

I wonder if you’re actually a really terrible person

I wonder because there’s no evidence otherwise

I love the idea and the music but it doesn’t erase that you embody what I hate about this world

Each person has their own canon

Not the boom boom type the nerd type

Their own view of the world, how it works

For instance, my canon includes singing Zelda melodies randomly.

And a great love for this poor planet that got stuck with us crawling all over her

8 billion spiders

Ew

But other people don’t see it like that

I’ve come to accept that I don’t have it all figured out

But I wonder if anyone does?

Don’t even know if I have a proper idea of right and wrong

But others seem to be so sure of themselves

If we were truly made in a God’s image

That god must be truly twisted and capable of both the most cruelty and the most love

I wonder if others wonder about their shape

Is this not a grotesque and strange shape to be?

Once a star, now this

8 billion tiny fragments that only understand part of it or none at all

Enjoy your dessert there Poseidon

I wish the none at all portion would disappear into nothingness

Screw conservation of mass, just poof bye bye

A rapture of sorts

And they can all go exist in their own sad dimension while we fix this poor planet

But that’s just wishful thinking and I have to learn to get along with all their realities so different than mine

It would be nice to meet more people with similar realities to mine

I mean because there are so many people out there with a twin spirit, slight crazy streak, and that actually care about people.

Can’t even talk about it without people being put off

Well it is what it is

It is what it is

At least my reality isn’t too terrible

When you forget about the disability and the poverty and the general oppression

Yeah

I’m a nothing something

A something that came from nothing that doesn’t fit in with any of the other somethings

My only place is a place with no people where I speak only to those who cannot speak back.

I thought, you know, your shape is similar to mine

And got told to never claim anything where I don’t belong

That nowhere where I belong

I don’t want to be nothing

Nothing is a fear I cannot speak to

Or of

The Nothing

Oh but then little me pondered what nothing

Nothing actually means

Why is my home nowhere?

I cannot possibly understand humans

This is not where I belong

I don’t belong anywhere

But I don’t want to be nothing

So the Sun was young and excited and spewing shit everywhere

And that shit was like well let’s be planets now

And then two planets were like let’s be a planet and a moon instead so they crashed together

And then whatever happened on the planet eventually became me

And I write poems about the Sun

So either I’m the Sun too and I’m very narcissistic

Or I’m the dust looking back at the Sun and missing home

I sing it back to you so many times

I thought it was the key to the lock

You see I tried so many keys

Have I been selected to be the watcher of love?

I just look out and see it

It’s not for me

How could I only have eyes for people I cannot be with?

What does my heart enjoy being crushed?

Sometimes I feel like it’s impossible for someone to fall in love with me

People can love me

And I’m not trying to say their love means nothing

But what does it feel like?

What does it feel like when someone is in love with you?

I want to know, you know

Just know what it’s like for once

Thought I had the best but I am always in last place

So I’ll just keep singing

Singing it back to you