Poetry
This is the general category of fuckery that goes on and on and doesn’t seem interested in stopping.
-
I miss the thunderstorms of Touhoku
I miss the simplicity of being able to get wherever I wanted
I don’t know if that would change with my illness now
But I miss the way the clouds rolled in over the hills
Sometimes rain came
Sometimes the skies just grumbled for hours
No doubt the physical representation of how our Earth feels of us
I miss 梅雨 and weeks of rain
I miss 台風
Couldn’t remember how to spell the English word so you get the Japanese deal with it
I miss spring and how everything was pink and delicate
I miss Japan
The place
I don’t know if I miss the country
God I wish I could go home
See 岩手山 standing ominously off in the distance
I miss you other side of the Earth
It’s so crazy that I could be right here and yet somewhere completely different
I’m near in comparison to literally anything else in space
Earth you’re fantastic
That I could miss somewhere so completely
I never missed here
I don’t know why I feel attached to some place I’ve only lived 10 months out of my 32 almost 33 years
I wish to see the other side of the Pacific ocean again
It’s a pipe dream at this point
No comments on -
How often do you walk or run?
No.
And this question is ableist
Because it excludes literally anyone who can’t walk or run
But no one thinks about that when crafting social media
Running was a funny joke I told in my youth when hyper extended ankles could be nursed for weeks afterwards
Walking is something I do when required but I shouldn’t
Running was fun sometimes except when it wasn’t
Mostly it wasn’t
Mobility is not a right it is a privilege and we all lose it at some point
But people act like they will never be the person in the wheelchair, with the walker, with the cane
People act like they’ll never be the blind man
But they spend their lives trespassing against disabled people
Don’t say “but not all” I’m sick of hearing lies
Ableism is constructed into our society
I thought I wasn’t
I didn’t know what I was fucking talking about until I got sick
Humans are stupid
Being assholes until it affects them and then they want understanding
Not all are assholes, all are ableist, but it’s just the majority that are assholes
Like this dumb bitch who’s been elbowing me incessantly
Who refused to get out of the disability seating for me and then proceeded to bruise my ribs for twenty minutes
Fuck everyone who sits in disabled seating and doesn’t move
And fuck this question for mocking my inability to be mobile
And fuck my body for doing this to me
-
I wonder if I deserve this
Idiots with doe eyes refusing to move from disabled seating
It’s just so stressful to be disabled
To have to ask people to move from seating I need
Because the cane isn’t obvious enough
I’m tempted to get a walker just so they can’t fucking dismiss me anymore
I’m so tired of every day outside my house being a battle
I’m so tired of having to ask people for things that I need
I’m so tired of people dismissing my disabilities
Tired as fuck
Ugh I feel like I feel entitled
I hate feeling entitled
Every day, every time,
I’m fighting to not get injured on the bus
And no one cares
Because no one cares
Remember when I said my pain isn’t valid?
This is what I meant
-
Fall I did miss you
I can smell you creeping in
My favourite tree at work has yellowing leaves underneath her green
The early fallers strewn on the ground
And the cooler weather has already mostly settled in
Summer is still rumbling a bit, but the trees have it
The scent of Fall
Seasons are beautiful
And most humans exist without knowing them
Their scent
Their footprints
Their fruits and veggies
They don’t catch the first breath of Fall in the blackberries
They don’t catch the first breath of Winter in the frost
Spring is a very obvious season, Fall, comes in more subtly
I wonder what Winter will be this year?
-
It was one of those mornings that demanded my awakeness immediately
Buried a dead baby lizard
500 foxes could die
Someone did die and the police that did it laughed about it immediately
Being on all the time is so hard
But you can’t be off or things get like they are now
Thousands of years of people like me seemingly not existing.
Or we’re all inaffectual nothings
If I had the spoons I’d be organizing a coup
And it blows my mind that it hasn’t happened already
Are all people like me as incapable as me?
Fucking pacifists
Myself included
I just can’t harm another person
Fuck
Fuck fuck
Stuck just staying here in my internet hole waving my arms and shouting someone do something
Addendum, just not the fascists for the love of Gaia
I feel like I’m existing in a different world than most people
It’s horrifying
-
They joked about her death
Or they were serious which is worse
They laughed about her death
You weren’t a number on a cheque
You were a life
This world needs to change
People wonder why people riot
People need to wake up
I’d like to personally curse the persons who co-opted woke
I’ll gladly be woke if it means valuing a life more then $11,000 and then laughing about it
Christ
The swear not the invocation
What the hell am I doing here?
What the hell is this awful place?
Elucidating Questions 