Elucidating Questions

The light of the Moon

Is Love’s message

Such a mundane thing added to the end

But it rings true to me

Afterall the light from the Sun

Is a form of love that I still don’t understand

If you looked at the Moon

You’d see my love too

All the times I’ve stared at her

Directed the love I couldn’t express towards her

Just a little light, you think

But her face is turned away

There is always light there

If you looked at the Moon tonight you’d see me

A small light

Just trying to be

Something expected

Something most people never think twice about

Of course there is a Moon

This expectedness

I suppose other people don’t worry that one day a rogue something is going to come and take the Sun away

Or any of the others

This place of endless possibilities

See, Luna, I did expect you today

But I am still so pleased to see you

Are you going to go get Saturn for me?

Will he rise as you rest?

Disappear into the night

Completely facing the Sun

I feel like I’m of you

More than the Earth

And I still don’t understand why

I wish I could understand why

If you look at the Moon

May my love reach you

Even if it’s just for a moment

Even if you don’t know it’s min

The me I want to be

I feel like I should be capable of loving even those who have done wrong

Not to forgive on behalf of those they’ve wronged

But to encourage the good to come from them

Maybe that’s why I stick closeby to the Owl who

Mysteries

It’s not forgiveness

Maybe the belief that others can do good

I’d like to get that back

Now it just surprises me

To become someone who can believe in the good of people

If you could help with it

I thought I’d found friends

But that’s beyond me, perhaps

Would you come running when Time comes?

I’d like to live in this world

Rather than just beside it

I thought I’d found someone who looked like me

In spirit

Am I hopeless?

Have I really not needed any socialization for 7 years?

People are enjoying each other’s company around me again

Laughing and chatting and doing things I haven’t done in ages

I could walk a thousand miles and never reach you

But it feels like the distance from you to me is much shorter than the distance from me to you

Like you just have to reach out to me

Curses that I can’t remember my dreams anymore

I send out all this love

Some kind of deranged Cupid

Venus you scorn me

You must for otherwise I would find somebody

Aphrodite

They say you can’t wish for love

When nothing else will ever sustain me

Desperately jumping from doing something to doing something

Trying to out run my disappearance

If I disappear

I begged not to

You really are determined, aren’t you?

Tilted exactly in just the way that you hit that window and shine on me

I mean, what are the odds I’d sit exactly here

And you’d sit exactly there

Mind, I’ve moved my chair over the last few days and you’ve somehow managed to shine into my face

Every single day

I don’t have to search for the passion of youth flower

I am the passion of youth flower

He is a pirate

Go away

I’m sorry but I’m not interest in questioning my morality right now

And that’s all you make me do

Mr Owl

I’m buzzed

It’s good

I think not drinking is a mistake for me

I can possibly trick myself into believing things are okay in this state

In order for coincidence to become fate coincidence would have to occur first

Maybe you know that

You sing about a lot of dreamy stuff

And burn yourself into my retinas

Do you believe it for me because it happened to you?

Warning about others like there’s something wrong with believing in more

Yes you and them both

Drawing my attention and insisting on being the one

Then make me the one

No… Yes?

Famous is a dirty word

His luck never seems to be over to me

Damn it I’m out of alcohol

No

Wreck, resurrect, I do as I please and no one stops me

This sick freedom born of isolation

Speaking of Lemon

I hope he’s well wherever he is

Why are these spectres from my past showing up?

Reeku

Lemon

They both ignored me as well

And these weren’t random people these were boys who claimed they loved me most

Resurrection

Of these stories from my past

People I loved without seeing their pictures

I’m not blue, he’s blue

I wonder if he’s okay

Whenever I wonder that he is

It’s hard to be unwanted by someone who means so much

Well it’s too bad that all I know how to do is persist

That’s what the wolf called me

Persistent

Sorry

It’s probably best I let that lie

Best not to feed this incredible feeling of being ignored by society

If from this place of nothing

If only something could be born

Like the Universe

Will myself into being

Sol stop being stingy

You’ve been very blunt and bright today

This feels more like Hermes

確かに

It has their breeze to it

Yes

Apparently the ball of fire is sulking

That’s what all this is telling me

Well I suppose I’m hiding from him and telling him to go away every chance I get

Poor ball of fire

Much more enamoured with my friend who keeps the night these days

I suppose they all want to be noticed too

I would feel pretty invisible if there was a planet of several billion people and I was literally keeping them alive with my light and they never really noticed me

If you think of it that way

I was trying to reconcile such a great thing getting snippy for such a thing

But I feel like that about does it

You’re definitely not invisible you’ve been burned into my retinas enough times

Beings wanting to be

It’s hard to be when no one sees you

What kind of faces do you show others?

You’re silent, but in the moments I close my eyes and we meet, I feel happiness

Contextual

And of course the last one laughing is you

We all know you joke to hide pain at this point

You’re as dishonest as I am

Our patterns match

If I could travel to the moon

Would I get the chance to see you?

What are we?

So bright back then

You collosal liar

Lyre

But I get the feeling you were telling me whatever it took to keep me going

Guided by the gods

Doesn’t that sound romantic?

I have trouble accepting it

But something

But, like I’ve said before, they aren’t gods like people think

These somethings I’m half in the room with

All of you insisting

頑張って、続いて

And even the things that are less than you but still there all the same

No, neither of you, only me

The blue and the Owl are not allowed in this time

Not interested in worrying about a couple boys who were supposed to be men

No I’m not coming out of the shadow, beautiful ball, it is too hot

I would scream for you

But there is never a safe place to

Okay you wrestled a few lines from me

Sometimes when I’m sitting here I feel at peace with these companions

And sometimes for all their words

I feel like the loneliest in the galaxy

Do good recklessly, eh?

I’m sorry I get frustrated that there is absolutely no benefit to me doing good things

It’s not that I want something from them

It’s more like I need some sort of assurance that what I’m doing matters

I start wondering what the point of doing good in a vacuum is

It’s not even like I do good things for my own sake

I just do them because that seems like the right thing to do

But I have been living my life with no assurance whatsoever

Well besides from all you watchers

It’s hard to know I’m doing the right thing

It’s hard to know to keep doing things when the general consensus on me doing things is

Meh

In these moments when I’m not dreaming I wonder how I could ever believe these messages I can’t even prove are real?

Not that you didn’t immediately send me one

Sol

You really are too close

I do wish I could make a difference

Something beyond

Meh

Why am I nothing?

I try to do good but it doesn’t seem to make any difference

A single grain of sand on a beach

I want to be

Well it’s not unavoidable, right?

If he’s taught me anything it’s that anything is avoidable

Anything you want to avoid anyways

But I have to will myself to do these things somehow

Force myself to do these things that enable my functioning

It may be a crutch, but it is a delicious crutch that I am kind of hoping will kill me like everyone keeps saying it will

No

But yes

I hate having things I have to do

No one does the things I need them to do

But I have to do all this stuff so I can keep doing what they need me to do

Which is persist

For some reason

In one of my dark moments

Feeling over half a decade of being ignored weighing on me

Hold on

Hold on

I wanted to do this together

With someone

I want to be

Like nothing else in my life I wish I could be

Live life

Not just spend hours rewatching shows from yesteryear because everything is too violent now

Like they enjoy watching it

Make him do it

Whatever it was

Oh these thoughts pouring out as soon as they come in

Someone else should have to help me

Why have to

Because if someone said they tried everything and needed help I would try to help them

I don’t think I would know what to say if there was even a chance to say it

I don’t understand it

I don’t

I won’t stop running though

Every day I come to this spot and that’s all I hear

I wonder if it’s your influence

The power songs come on

Just keep going

Am I setting society aflame behind me?

To document a life with prose

What a stupid and lofty goal

Yeah it sounds like me alright

And my boys

Yeah it would be you delivering them to me

Love and miss

Love and miss

Take them on and continue

I’ll collect a billion souls if I have to

I don’t want to be a phantom

Oh how I don’t want to be the cause of my own destruction

Nor his

I don’t know what it means when it feels like it’s over there

It’s just strange to be here

So half hearted

Not that, you say

I need to believe in myself

But, love,

Ah, he hated that

But, love

I don’t even know what dreams I’m supposed to be realising

That love could find me before we ever meet?

It’s not as if anyone will ever know

About this life secret

Sitting so far away

But these vibrations are you

I don’t know why

Frankly, none of anything makes sense

But I can feel it

To love directly

To have the courage to love someone completely again

The me I want to be