Elucidating Questions

He doesn’t see how it hurts to be unseen, yet having never experienced being unseen he could not dream to understand how it feels.

He doesn’t believe that it hurts to sit on in silence day in and day out never hearing the conversation of another not remembering how to speak.

He can’t see how he’s tearing me apart with every word that he doesn’t say to me silence to the left silence to the right

There’s no middle there’s nothing here just the soundless sound of silence.

On the edge of this never ending nothing.

No matter how I beg, or hold my breath, or wish and hope and cry,

I wake up the day after.

There is no one by my side, no one calling, no one waiting, no one has heard or seen or cares.

And it continues.

I wish I could understand how it is so easy to throw out a person.

Now I have

More holes. More words I already knew in a way I’d never heard but I already heard it and it was still beautiful and I

Now I have more holes.

The numbers matched and if everything else has been as it has been and I think and I keep running away from it because

I can’t do this alone.

Things unsaid so there’s no proof to point to but the truth within,

Knows what was heard regardless of the sharing of them and watching it happen just takes

Just makes it worse now.

Running to the sky, away I can’t do it I can’t stay if there’s nothing here that sees and wants to stay with me

Straight away.

I can’t do this again. Not to my self again.

Falling to the ground, I watch her drink as the birds sings alongside

The dropping

Tiny pin pricks, or a flood, the tapping on everything, a drop, or a river.

The serenity of a visitor with her hat pulled down over her face she smiles and whispers as she waves her cape

It brushes over the land, blots out the light to feed the beautiful life

She tells of things seen, watched from so far above, the frustration the sadness the beauty the love.

The visitor draws close and whispers one more thing seen, just the view from around and the places unseen.

The twitter of the birds and the drops of the blue on the green.

This one sounds like a drill Sargeant giving orders.

Perhaps it was his wedding day, he sounds very put out.

This constant overthrowing of a people, as if a people become less than people if they become

A people.

It will never connect, the looking at a person and seeing less than a person.

Every person is a person, feelings, emotions, heartbreak, struggle.

Seeing those who walk separate paths sent down those paths by hundreds of years of

Those people aren’t the same people, they deserve less.

It hasn’t changed.

We live in a society which still views some as less, we claim it is for survival.

We claim cultural and societal prevalence, we claim we have attained the best possible way of life, we claim anything else is less than.

It will never connect, looking at humanity in layers as if we are a pyramid of pyramids building pyramids.

Even the thought of this structure of structures created for no reason but to feed the top.

Those at the bottom are merely machines until they break and they are replaceable.

How could anyone believe that a human life is replaceable?

The words that should have been chosen to share with the ones who wouldn’t be able to hear them themselves,

Disappear into a fog of pages and ink spread out and rewritten centuries and again.

The same wrong words show up in a never ending wripple, it cannot be run away from, like a thread that pulls through every word.

Why or how don’t matter anymore, but they hide sometimes. These so called one hits. These ones that seem to have disappeared over time.

They fight, they climb into the same vehicle, they drive away.

It’s this strange return to this same place which should have been, if being honest and listening,

Abolished immediately.

Because he never wanted this to be our lives.

I showed up on your doorstep begging for forgiveness. I showed up on your doorstep and you opened the door.

You said what do you want, I said you don’t look like yourself

I wonder if it was a riddle or a mystery.

You let me in you didn’t want to you turned your back and walked away as I came in I wanted

To undo losing you to a mistake I let go on for too long and did harm with,

Scared away and I wanted to come home

But you knew about him and you wanted to know

You wanted to know who I could be trapped between two and I said

I don’t know.

And I’m certain I ran into the skies with the feeling of it,

Because when it gets tough or uncomfortable I can merely fly to something new

Because flying comes easy in the night when the dreams are all just not quite right

Never quite the way they seem they should be, and I continue to search

But I always start in the same place,

Back at the beginning, do I run or do I stay and fight

And when it’s just me I run as fast as I can to something better

Anything better

But,

When there are others involved the story changes and I stay to try to keep it together regardless and I try to help

But what does that mean

It’s all only a dream.