Elucidating Questions

Of course it has to stay but I’ll have to stay in silence and pretend I can’t hear it

Maybe he’s going backwards after all

I shouldn’t muddy this

The cries of a baby who misses his mother.

From the top to the bottom

Then lose control

Doesn’t suggestion suggest someone suggesting?

Suddenly sour sounds in a simple station

Oh my god you lose control

Oh no

Oh no

Trenchparkley

Parkley is a cool name let’s keep that

Meaningless repetition

No signs here

I woke up at some point with a song playing in my head and in my sleeping

I should write this down and send it to him

Whoever

Whatever

My brain is smart even in sleeping it scoffs and says

You’ll what, write the music down?

I can’t

And I go back to sleep.

How many more years before someone realises there are degrees of me too?

Every day I scream at myself because there’s no one else

I wish I had a car because I’d leave and drive off of a cliff

No one to tell me to slow down but I know that it wouldn’t matter

I don’t remember

And you’re already already gone and I lose when you lose so I win never again

What I want isn’t a word that could be answered

Cherished desires

I wish

It’s still bullshit

Why are you breaking the sound?

Because you took it too far.

Move on and slow down where there’s no right and no left

Except those left behind

I couldn’t tell you why I woke up missing you or why

He scares me

I lose

I’m wrong

I’m not halfway right.

Good day sir.

I keep telling them

Help me

I’m dying

It’s winning

They say get help

When cancer kills someone

I suppose there must be someone who is left without support

I just happen to be the one who’s not supposed to be supported

I just don’t understand

Diseases kill people

Well most

Yesterday was hard

You say they’re pretty I say I should have been born as one

I

Alienation crosses the line of desperation and sinks

It’s just that no one understands me

Who could now?

I’ve been sitting on this book for a decade

I don’t think it’s worth telling most days

I pet trees like cats

Just because I want to hear trench doesn’t mean I want to go straight til morning I

It’s already gone and I’ll go

I don’t know what I want to hear

But it isn’t anything that’s happened

Mom and Dad saw me posting nudes on tumblr so they had tumblr commit suicide

– The world according to me

As in if everything in the world had something to do with me then it would have to be something like that

Fucking

Mom and Dad

Whoever those are honestly

I can’t be sure where I am or where I’ve come from

Only the memories I remember living not remembering can be proof of my existence to me

But I can’t see where three could be

Three

I could believe you but then I’d have to be able to get from zero

And I can’t seem to get out of this hole I’m in

Why would I ever be anything but last place

I have no idea what that poem I wrote that won was

Where it is or if it even existed

I wish I could see it

So that I could tell how far I’ve fallen

Stupid and foolish child

Where are they taking you?

Spirited away

I hope it’s somewhere nice

Oh yes it’s apathy you didn’t

Actually think hoping would help did you?

How can I even want to try

No

Not again

Not again because there must be something wrong with me

How am I supposed to

It doesn’t matter

I’ll drink

I’ll smoke

Hopefully I’ll die

I fucking love people whose bags take priority over people on the bus

No, really, fucking love their inconsiderate self centred bullshit

People should have to stand so your inanimate object can sit?

Could you kindly tell me why, because I do not understand why, your bag (which did not pay for a seat mind you) gets a seat over a person?

Could you explain to me why your stuff (which did not pay its fare) gets priority seating?

Would you like to?

I fucking love people like you because you’re everywhere

Greater nothingness slipping into the hallowed harried

This errant nothingness

Unclear clarity filtered through

Eyes wide

Therein wherein

The glee is ferried

From second to second

They don’t play

A dead clock

Does this happen because I was thinking about it?