Elucidating Questions

Ignorant

Believing this would be any different than any other time

Like this could be the way out

No nevermind

Nevermind

It’s hard to be discouraged when there was none to begin with

Absolute worst outcome

The day reaffirms my affirmations

I’m ugly

Unneeded

And useless.

It could be done gently but at least the world is honest.

At least the world is honest that no one wants me

It doesn’t lie to make me feel better

I’ve given up on feeling hetter

I need to leave You behind

You don’t exist

I think it would be nice if only but only I know You and You don’t know me

How could anyone yearn for me

I wish I could drop You and remember yearning for something that doesn’t exist doesn’t matter

There’s no You to read this and say you know me

There’s no You to hold on to

There’s no one for me in this life

I will wander until the end

Die alone like everyone else without having ever known what love feels like

I wish I died yesterday

Yestermonth yesteryear

I wish I was already dead so I didn’t have to wish I was dead now

I wish I’d never thought of You or heard of You or seen You in my dreams

Merely a stick with not even a carrot out of reach

Merely nothing

Merely chasing nothing

What a disappointment this life is

When all I wanted was love

And look how much love I have

I wish I had more than nothing

But that’s the joke

Hermes they’re all so happy you saved Prince

Does anyone want to tell Prince that?

Ne wyrde of woruldrice spreca fryðo

Ne eádignes

Ne dríme

And géna dwæs-lic

In hyra acsian

Man en ag-lác-hád

Don’t run just

walk

Slowly in space

lost

Billions of uncontrollable things

inconsequential

The following of a life

continuing

In a loveless, empty, direction

dark, hollow

Don’t ask

I can’t answer

Maybe Aphrodite knows

Maybe she is the cause

Perhaps I just don’t have a limit but these

Don’t even really count as one so I sit waving a flag striped wrong ways sideways

Again like I was already gone and came back like I’d left

Like the existence of myself just ceased and must have been where I was put

But I never found out where put I was

One empty tree and one some other thing I put myself in but I didn’t

Not when it comes to my

The cherished desires get in the way.

Can I scoff at anything new?

As if it is

Merely a change in trajectory merely something that will be returned to the direction anyways

One step leads to the entire universe rearranging to ensure you’re continuing in the same direction as before

Anything

Anything at all

I would try to

I wanted to know

Can’t call it hope

That’s just too forgiving

Asked and answered

Can they

Yes

Will they?

Adding a question to a question

Because the memories have to be somewhere

Please guide them to the answer that would be most beneficial for him

I know that’s a greedy thing to ask

But I am but me

And I just want him to be able to have what he needs

I had a dream

There were people all around and some kind of event with my family

We were all excited to go together

It was fun

Then I was busing home

And the bus driver didn’t wait for a passenger

As we drove away she jumped off the bridge

As I was receiving instructions

The alarm went off

And I sat up and realised

There hadn’t been anyone around

They hadn’t been there

In my dream I’d been talking to nothing

No one

Empty space

How it had felt

Was all fake

And there was no one on the phone

So I cried alone

Because I can’t even dream people anymore