Elucidating Questions

これからそれだね?

Well I told you

Well we tried to stop you

I just wanted to be able to steer in the direction I wanted for once without feeling like

Well this is just how it has to be

Hopelessly

人間

怖いから

Vicious pain

You’re so good at influencing us in all the ways I can’t explain that I’ve seen over and over again that I can’t fucking explain lucky you

At least I got a sweater out of it

Like can you

Can you hear me?

I’m down to this

And I don’t even know how to actually take joy from that stale fact because every fucking cent counts

It’s about time I stopped buying boys clothes

Buying clothes for boys

Or anything

Or even, really,

Hermes you’ll laugh

But I don’t see a point in life if I never get to love someone

If I never get to be loved by someone and say it’s right

Now

Like there’s nothing else worth it for me to do

I tried so many things and I can’t stand any of it

Nine months

Of course

Because 999

Nein nein nein.

No.

Was a choice so I suppose that it gets to the point where feelings

Are hurt

And who ever said anything was going to change for me or get better

But a lyre and his fucking stormy weather

Ignorant

Believing this would be any different than any other time

Like this could be the way out

No nevermind

Nevermind

It’s hard to be discouraged when there was none to begin with

Absolute worst outcome

The day reaffirms my affirmations

I’m ugly

Unneeded

And useless.

It could be done gently but at least the world is honest.

At least the world is honest that no one wants me

It doesn’t lie to make me feel better

I’ve given up on feeling hetter

I need to leave You behind

You don’t exist

I think it would be nice if only but only I know You and You don’t know me

How could anyone yearn for me

I wish I could drop You and remember yearning for something that doesn’t exist doesn’t matter

There’s no You to read this and say you know me

There’s no You to hold on to

There’s no one for me in this life

I will wander until the end

Die alone like everyone else without having ever known what love feels like

I wish I died yesterday

Yestermonth yesteryear

I wish I was already dead so I didn’t have to wish I was dead now

I wish I’d never thought of You or heard of You or seen You in my dreams

Merely a stick with not even a carrot out of reach

Merely nothing

Merely chasing nothing

What a disappointment this life is

When all I wanted was love

And look how much love I have

I wish I had more than nothing

But that’s the joke

Hermes they’re all so happy you saved Prince

Does anyone want to tell Prince that?

Ne wyrde of woruldrice spreca fryðo

Ne eádignes

Ne dríme

And géna dwæs-lic

In hyra acsian

Man en ag-lác-hád

Don’t run just

walk

Slowly in space

lost

Billions of uncontrollable things

inconsequential

The following of a life

continuing

In a loveless, empty, direction

dark, hollow

Don’t ask

I can’t answer

Maybe Aphrodite knows

Maybe she is the cause

Perhaps I just don’t have a limit but these

Don’t even really count as one so I sit waving a flag striped wrong ways sideways

Again like I was already gone and came back like I’d left

Like the existence of myself just ceased and must have been where I was put

But I never found out where put I was

One empty tree and one some other thing I put myself in but I didn’t

Not when it comes to my

The cherished desires get in the way.

Can I scoff at anything new?

As if it is

Merely a change in trajectory merely something that will be returned to the direction anyways

One step leads to the entire universe rearranging to ensure you’re continuing in the same direction as before

Anything

Anything at all

I would try to

I wanted to know

Can’t call it hope

That’s just too forgiving

Asked and answered

Can they

Yes

Will they?

Adding a question to a question

Because the memories have to be somewhere

Please guide them to the answer that would be most beneficial for him

I know that’s a greedy thing to ask

But I am but me

And I just want him to be able to have what he needs