Elucidating Questions

Do you remember all the reasons

No way

You’ve never met him before

He’s a drug addict

He loves another girl

He’s not gay

He’s not bi

He’s not going to notice you

He’s too beautiful

He’s out of your league

He’s not the person he says he is

He’s not the same as he is on stage

You don’t even know him

You can’t love him

I wonder what I just stood in the kitchen sobbing for.

You can’t love him

I wonder why I dream of him every night

The night I couldn’t fly

And he reminded me how

I can’t tell you the answer to any of those questions or finish the poem for you,

But it’s not a crime to love

Hold your hand next to mine

M & S

I deserve it and you dish it out

Or you seek to run your claws along skin whispering terrible things while running your tongue over the wounds

While I wait to be tied up and thrown down

Hold your hand next to mine our fingers never intertwine

I realised today that there’s no way either of them care about me and I feel so alone and you say

That’s their own fucking faults for being terrible people

While I think I deserve it and they’re both wonderful in their own selves

Will you bite the owl?

Only if he doesn’t keep his promise

How many years will you give him?

…

You bite my beautiful blue flame but he doesn’t care or notice so what are you anyways

Are you calling me ineffectual?

I’m calling you as invisible as me

I blew a smoke ring did you see it?

I’m the only one who did.

Did you notice Chester hanging out at the corner of our eye?

Things named after him

Randomly his lyrics

Whispering

Can he do it?

I don’t know either.

We’re alone here

At least we’re alone together

Tonight

Alone

Tonight alone

I wish we could be together

I don’t want to be a part of you anymore

I want to talk to you where our thoughts aren’t tangled

I want to see you where our sight isn’t split

I want to be able to calm you when you’ve gone into a rage and can’t hear me

I want to stop you when you’ve gone.

I wish we weren’t alone together

I wish we were together

I could live without him if you were here

I always had this fear that we’re trapped in the same body so I’ll never feel able to find someone to love and neither will you

Zeus didn’t cut us in half properly

Or he cut us in half and we both feel so unfulfilled because our ones are in opposite directions

Will you never love him?

I loved him until I realised he wanted none of it. I’ll never love again. Feel free to love whomever you want. The cat in the hat and the boots and the coat, never plans to love anyone other than this stupid fish goat.

I wanted him to want it.

I wanted him to want it too.

I’m late, but

Congratulations

I love you so much I am so happy to see you insisting on happiness among all the ugliness

It makes me feel better to know you have someone

Thank goodness you have someone.

You brilliant man.

I’m so happy you found someone.

結婚おめでとうございます

I love you I love you I love you

Congratulations you beautiful owl.

The power went out

Bang and then that silence as the electricity ceases to exist in the walls the floor the electronics

In my humanoid stupor, in the powerless house, I wandered to the kitchen

I want coffee

So I pushed the button on the coffee machine

And

Well

What do you think happened?

Hermes is laughing like a horse even though he’s more of a monkey than anyone.

There’s no power.

He reminded me.

Gently at the time but now he’s snickering about it like I’ve told a joke only he knows the punchline to

I can’t help but grin

He’s right of course we get so set in what is we don’t even realise that it’s not permanent

The power goes out and the power minded people suddenly realise how powerless they are without power

Even though it’s so obvious it doesn’t occur until it’s occured

Like when the internet is down

And you attempt to Google why the internet is down

Upon which your browser reminds you there is no internet to troubleshoot the internet

She tried to turn on the coffee machine

He thinks it’s funnier because he saw the moment I wondered if it was broken before he reminded me it wasn’t broken the electricity was.

I can’t really blame him for laughing at me.

I’m laughing at me too.

When I wake up

Well I know I’m going to be

I’m going to be alone

When I go out

Well I know I’m going to be

I’m going to be alone

And I have walked 500 miles

I have walked 500 more

Just to be the one who walked a thousand miles all alone

And you say only the lonely survive

But what does that mean to you?

When I would have walked those miles again to fall down at your stoop.

Just to fall down at your stoop.

A stoop is a front of a house which isn’t a deck a veranda or a porch.

It’s too small.

Like I’m too small.

I can’t imagine you reading my thousand miles or the hearing the piano I play.

There’s nothing to say.

I’m alone again today.

I don’t care what he says I still love you

And without knowing who you even is

He can come up with all these reasons and make it seem okay

But he’s a scared little boy and he’s afraid we’ll just keep getting hurt

I miss you

Every day I look your way but you don’t look mine

Do you even know where I am?

When I know just with a feeling

You’re so far away but I know

It doesn’t matter

Even if his paranoia is true

Even if he’s right

Even if you’re somehow awful

Well it just sounds like I’m trying to point out flaws and then gaslight you

I’ll still love you

I wish I could explain

I wish it made sense

I’m not saying you’re a bad guy but I can still love you congratulations to me

I’m saying he may think those things but I don’t have to because we’re not the same person

I’m saying I don’t believe it

I’m saying I still think you’re wonderful of course I do

Spreading something across the country

Just look at the moon

To know how much I love you

Just see how the moon hangs so perfectly in the sky

How she had to crash into the earth to find her place

How she shines a light of the night for those afraid of the dark

I still love you

It all looks so fake but I still love you

I hate myself

You’ll always be number one to me

You’ll always be above me

You don’t even care

But that’s my own fault