Elucidating Questions

I still think of you uselessly

I still think of you pointlessly I think of you and think

How pointless

I think of thinking of you

This has nothing to do with you

What are you doing here?

I slip and trip and fall down this decline into nothingness

Slowly making my own way down

Down down

I think of you

And it starts

It doesn’t come quiet

It comes screaming in

Him

Why?

I’m wasting so much time

He doesn’t care

There’s no point to this

He won’t be there

He’s taken

He wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t

There’s something wrong with me to think this way

How could I think this way

Down, do you see me falling down?

Tripping down?

Slipping slowly

I think of you

I keep having this dream

This repetitive dream

He comes to me

Holds my face

Pets my hair

Stares me in the eye with his own bright and clear

He comes and says

You’re beautiful

You’re beautiful

Don’t forget you’re beautiful

It whispers in through the day

A flash of his face the feel of his hand on my cheek

And since I’ve seen this dream those around me keep following the theme

That I’m beautiful

Bewildered and confused I wake thinking he’s crazy

Who ever he is

He can make the people say to me

You’re beautiful

The strange power

Of the man of my dreams

I don’t have to drag myself anymore

What spreads the ink across the floor

Not under or over just slick and across

The darkness spreads out

Its lightness no more

As it feeds into the empty spaces we feel a cold and feign embraces

And I hear you speak a different day

No words to say no words to say

This empty mind filled with scrap

Can’t

Won’t let me take it back

The twins are setting and as they do I feel that familiar odd goodbye every time I see them

The man and his dog went over the hill so fast I couldn’t keep hold of them long enough to realise what month it is

And what month is it indeed

Drawing old pictures in the sky in hopes of

Finding a familiar face

Fifteen or so feels just right

The others acquaintances

Those I can’t see strangers

And then I wish that every person I could see could be

As familiar as a star

If I just knew that by looking at them I could get to know them better

Well then my friends wouldn’t be stars

They may be people

They may be people

Maybe

Just the word

Goodnight silent Gemini, you’ve been beautiful

The places you’ve been

The places you’ll go

I’ve returned to the boys of the summer

I’m gone

So Boss God

Boss Boss

Big Boss

Whoever the boss of bosses is

I got fired from a terrible job

And walked into a place to shop

And got a better job

Without doing anything

You, you rock you

You rock

I didn’t get rocked this time

Love you

As we continue speeding through life

Opposite shores

I wonder what the point of it all was

This big build up to nothing

The Biggest Let Down of 2019™

No, just kidding

My sick little baby died

Sorry you’re second place now

Yeah so my girlfriend

Girlfriend

Girl friend

Gurl frend

So your

Your girlfriend

I’m choking on my own throat again

The word

I don’t know what you did to it but this word hurts

I don’t know how you did it but this word hurts

Please don’t say this word anymore

And just like that I’m tears and quakes

Through myself I try to explain

I don’t know him

I need him

He’s never coming