Elucidating Questions

Maybe it’s karma

Maybe it’s an unfortunate accident

Maybe it’s just life

Maybe

But it hurts and I am exhausted

But I can’t see past the edge of my pain

But it’s all so heavy all the time

Wish there was a way to stop it

Wish there was a wish

Wish someone could see the pain and know it’s not a lie

I’m just thinking six different things at once

What

You don’t have six trains of thought all running at the same time?

You don’t fucking have that?

Sorry that was the mad one

The moon is out shining

Venus calling she’s setting with the twins

Trying to remain upright

Right?

Colourful dreams unseen spread over the thin paper fabrics

It became hard to prove the unproven

Proved difficult to believe

Banking away tomorrows never coming

And don’t get me started on the cheapness of this thing

I keep thinking I want it all

But only a kiss

And my stomach is sick

But what am I? Me in this mess.

Heartsick

Just fine

God I’m tired

So many thoughts unheard

Words

So many words

She sings me lullabies

The moon is out tonight

Lost with no melody

Rain, blessed.

Falling so gently so lightly

Yet rain

The puddles are almost gone

Yet rain

The rainforest cries for the rain for the forest

How we miss the summer rains

I’m feeling water on my face

From the fountain four metres away

You’re worrying about me

And it’s foreign

The water the worry

A person who has me on their mind

I find

It’s hard to grasp to collect the thought this thinking about someone else thinking about me

One to win one to lose

Tick tock

All I know how to do is love

I’ve never been loved before

I know it’s not time to start now

Best the slumbering remain

I feel the fountain on my face

But it’s so far away

The awning swings

Hiding things

Keeping away what must be hidden

And allowing things now bidden

If only there was a cover for my thoughts

That they didn’t wander back to you over again

Again

I need a memory of a time

Much simpler than this

And in bliss

We all watch it go down burning

So exhausting

All this talk and

No matter my own stand

I can’t fix it I can’t help it I can’t

I just go home defeated

She’s my mother I love her

Why don’t you?

I want to ask people.

She’s literally on fire can you please love her?

And you never being here

And soon she won’t be either

Not as she is now

Not as you are now

Another day goes by

My blue light

If only you were here to see it

I see the fantasy

Of us meeting

Warm loving

Always a simple script

It’s always you

Always you

And then it fades away and I feel the feeling

The fantasy feeling the

I wrote you so many letters

The

I know

But it’s so right anyways

It falls away the feeling that feeling

To back to reality

To black to

The end of the play the actors did so well clap clap clap

Meet again at 2:30 for the “first message” fantasy

Well isn’t it?

Always you

It’s always you

I’m so sorry

The chuckle and

It’s okay

How can it be? I think as reality grabs back again.

How can it be?

I keep wishing us well together

But the fantasy fades

There’s no hello