Elucidating Questions

Oh what do I do

Sitting here in my high place telling people how I got here

But it’s gibberish to others

Just think differently I say

And they all tell me they can’t

Is my brain different?

I wonder if I’m some kind of new mutation

Just change your world view I say

Because I did

Is it just me? Am I the only one that can do this?

I’m not saying I’m 100%

There is after all the great sadness I must not touch

I still slip into it sometimes.

It just feels like everyone is letting themselves be a slave to their brain

Which I guess doesn’t make sense because we are all slaves to our brain

I guess it’s the difference between me seeing my brain act out

And me saying oh brain and going on with my day

And them dwelling on it and not letting it go

Just let it go

Brains do stupid things sometimes

Should I even be counseling from my place in my castle of glass?

With the big sadness hanging by

I could touch it, but I won’t.

There’s neon signs saying not to.

Humans seem to hate nature

Built it out of the cities

Covered it in grass

Killed the animals that stepped over the line

They try to scare away the birds

Starve the racoons

They see a plot of free land and they pave it

I don’t understand why they mar our mother’s face with such things

I do not understand why they wanted nature to be the outside

Why did they not paint it into the very structure of our buildings?

Nature finds its way though

Into buildings

Into cities

What would the world be like if they loved nature?

What would it be like if they loved her and not some angry man in the sky?

I wake up every morning in a box

Walk to get in another box

Drive a while in that box

Get out of the box just to walk into another box

And spend my day in that box

It’s not the box thing that’s the issue

It’s that it’s always the same

The monotony of being ill

Constantly trapped in the same boxes

I want to go out

But then I’d have to fight

I just want to see someone

I need someone to see

I wish I had somebody when I need someone to see

Maybe they’d want to see me

I just want someone that wants to see me

That isn’t paid to see me

I wish someone wanted to see me

It’s all just wishes

I don’t know what to do

No one told me people would be so easy to upset

They call me sensitive for crying, but all these people seem absolutely intent on being upset

I really do feel like an alien

Like for some reason I just came here

What the hell am I doing here?

I need to know how a society that hates almost anything to do with being human

Spit me out?

I was always this way though

I somehow managed to find love for every group the majority says I should hate

How’d that happen?

I’m not normal

Not even pretend makes me normal

Always a little bit weird

Maybe it’s just Facebook.

But people get offended over not being able to buy shoes I don’t have too

It’s so easy to not be bothered by most things

But injustices phase me

How am I so different from all of them?

Do my people even exist?

Let me just put you where I go

You’re on a rock in space, that spins, while revolving around the sun

That sun is revolving around a black hole

We don’t know what that black hole is revolving around

Just spinning

And you’re spinning in three different ways

Even when standing still you are moving faster than you can imagine

And that’s not even the fastest this ride can go

Every day, one turn

Just turning again and again

It’s mysterious

It’s beautiful

It’s order from the chaos of the universe

And every little thing plays a role

We would not be where we are in the solar system without our brother and sister planets

Jupiter affects the sun’s orbit just so

The moon is our silent guardian

All of it is connected

Going around in circles

Take me around again boys

I had a dream last night

There was a little girl named Molly that I needed to save

The moment I saw her I knew I was dreaming

I got upset

Why do I always have such strange dreams?

She showed up a few times

Part girl, part ghost

The scene changed and we were at some sort of club

Not a night club, a white people club, you know, pomp and ceremony.

There was a family seated around a grand table

They had a little girl and when I called “Molly”, she looked.

Dreading what was coming, I said

Okay let’s do this there isn’t much ti-

And the alarm went off

Molly has followed me all day

I have wondered about her

She seemed so real

She woke me up in my dream and I felt a real need to help her

But I was unable.

Was she real?

If not, why was she there?

Such wonders the dreaming mind creates

Her name just stuck to me

People so rarely give me their names in a dream

Or at least nothing sticks

Was my brain creating a human Molly the dolly from The Big Comfy Couch?

She was mysterious like a doll

I wonder what she was

What she represents

And how my dream self knew exactly when the alarm was going to go off.

The mystery of dreaming.

There’s no answer is there?