Elucidating Questions

I seem to have lost the ability to learn song lyrics

Selectively

Though how my mind selects I will never know

Maybe I will know someday

Maybe they don’t have the same feeling?

Weren’t sung with the same emotion?

Curious, my mind

Someone should probably study it

While I’m alive, not after, they don’t know enough about brains yet to know them dead

Anyways I’m off to the hospital

Apparently I can only put it off for so long

Do you ever look at space and want to scream?

Like one of those deep field pictures that Webb puts out

Just see how many galaxies there are

And scream loud enough for them all to hear

I’m here

We’re doomed

I’m not good enough to be saved from this hell

But I was here

And I thought every song was about me once

And I don’t have a soulmate here

Do you have soulmates?

I don’t know I just want to scream

Tell them everything

Maybe so they can see how wrong society can go

I did say please just follow me once

Older songs still hit the same

I wonder if our lives are too different now?

違う人生

似てない人生

多分

I wonder what it’s like to live a life of excess?

I’ve wondered if in my past life I was a terrible person, a rich person who wished for less but was too stupid to give it away, or some combination of the two.

I wonder what it’s like to be loved?

These things I haven’t experienced

Do I even have the capacity to love another person anymore?

どうかな

Do you feel music?

Do you feel music?

That great something that makes me neurodivergent

That I cannot understand

I feel music in my soul

I used to feel all your music in my soul

I wonder what changed?

I’ve had this long held silent fear

That this reality is just something I made

That I’m laying somewhere catatonic and this is what my own mind made

I guess it lies somewhere in my disbelief that this is the world

What happened to all the Me’s in history?

I can’t be something new I’m not special I’m a replication of history

Right?

Maybe they were just as sick and ineffectual as I am

It’s like I landed on the wrong planet

Beautiful as she is

Brilliant as the Sun is

And I love them

But this

This concrete hell

It can’t be real right?

Where are you and how are you doing?

Something just tells me to stay here with what you left

Following my gut is something I don’t do lightly

Nope I, in fact, crash right into the garden

Every fucking time dude

I wish I could know you so I could know

Without ever asking

Mostly, are you okay?

Safe

You crazy little renegade

Crazy knows crazy okay?

Well this is me sending you some good times

Sometime

I hope

You’ve got me articulating in Japanese again damn you

I can’t tell if you’re just fucking around because the words don’t mean anything anymore

Or if you’re just continuing your

ふざけるままな人生

You know?

You don’t because you don’t speak Japanese or read this

Haha

Imagine if you said hi to me

No it’s just another bait

Actually from you this time instead of from my own freaking head, but still

You may still be special

But I’ve held out hope of you saying hello to me for so long

Still I did exactly what you said to do I’m the fool

Who are you?