Elucidating Questions

History is so full of people claiming they were defending themselves against people they were invading

I’d start with Rome, but it’s just there

All throughout history, humans insisting themselves upon others

Of course this insistence was upon the land and the creatures there too

And whenever I wonder what humans have truly created in this world I think music

The only form of humanity that doesn’t take from someone else to enrich itself

But music has become propaganda

So everything eventually spoils

I wish humanity was more beautiful than this

I wish I lived in a place that didn’t poison me

I’m a perfectly decent person until you cross me and then I could say literally anything

Apparently it being okay for my brother to tell me to kill myself opened something dark in me

Once you feed it does it ever truly go away?

And this world doesn’t make it easy to feed the light in me

It feels like if I don’t force positivity it can’t exist

Input negative

Output negative

I started out such a sweet kid

And now I have to force myself to produce positive thoughts

Because this world is so wrong and evil tramples its surface

So much toxicity has entered me from these people

More insistence

I do not believe we are born like this

I do not believe we are born to hate and destroy

The me who spits back feels so foreign when I realise what I spat

How does one teach themselves to lead with compassion when everything coming in is negative?

I wish he’d cease his scratching

I feel so oppressed by everything

Oppressed by my income, oppressed by other people

Oppressed by society’s demands

Capitalism

And when I explode from the pressure I don’t see myself

I want to see myself in every action

If this darkness inside me is so great

How am I to defeat it with no fuel for feeding the light?

I am so poisoned

My Dad is so negative

My brother is so negative

The world is so negative

There’s little nature here to pull it from, the positivity

Gods please tell me how I’m supposed to produce something I don’t receive?