Elucidating Questions

I feel way too much

I was not made to take the cruelty of this world

It’s all a blob of things I learnt at one time or another, but it’s too much

All the things humanity does

Has done

And I feel solely responsible at times

My parents’ crusade to make me take responsibility for everything my siblings did compounded into my feeling responsible for the human race

So naturally I’m just filled with despair I can’t do anything

And I stopped believing anyone else would years ago

But then my brain tries to turn that on me also

This is all happening because you can’t believe in a better world

Or believe someone will help

It feels like if I can’t fix it

I wonder what silence is like on Mars

I don’t want that future to be hers too

I feel responsible for the animals

And the insects

And the plants

Fish, lizards, anything alive

Which is only the entire Earth

But I am so small

Completely insignificant

I shouldn’t even be having these thoughts that pit me as some saviour of humanity

I really don’t think I’m that great or capable

If you asked me what should replace everything I’d say I don’t know for sure

But at my core I know the way things are is wrong

People are overwhelmingly wrong

The truth is I wish everyone would take responsibility with me

Feel some kind of comradery with other living beings

Recognise the basic needs and do our best to provide them for everything

I don’t want to be a saviour, or any of the other half cobbed things my brain comes up with, about why the world being like this is my fault

Atlas how do you put down the world again after you pick it up?

Do you even want to carry it anymore?