Elucidating Questions

I wouldn’t mind if yesterday faded into the same obscurity of any other day the internet decided to play antagonist in my life

I don’t have enough energy for this shit

I’m not interested in people who can’t accept criticism of bad actions

Largely I’d like to remain in complete obscurity

There’s an artistic glint to how I’m on display and yet completely invisible

I’m not meant to be noticed

Anxiety is such a bitch

And I do things to put myself in anxious situations

I honestly don’t know how you do the silent observer thing, it’s

I just want to be left to my world

As fucked as it is

It’s a lot less fucked when other people aren’t in it

Expect silence after this there’s nothing to process beyond the occasional thing

I’m poor and in pain and traumatized and the world is fucked up

No amount of me telling my story is going to change that

Not right now anyway

That was it right?

Not letting other people write my story

But there’s no story to tell

I play video games all day constantly running from the existential boredom the reality of that creates

I don’t want to be visible

I want to fade into the void of the internet

Hoping I’m at least relevant enough that some AI will accidentally stumble upon my casual theft and commit casual theft

Not really

Fuck those things

It would be nice if someone knew me

But who knows

I wish I had a few less troubles beyond this dumb box though

My Dad is sick

There’s a whole bunch of emotions there that I’m not ready to think about yet

Having gone from estranged to living with him

Life is wild and terrifying

I wish it could be wild and beautiful instead

In the middle of no where

Just

Less than whatever the hell this is

Oof this headache is making words feel like concrete slabs

Back to disappearing into fantasy because reality is a bust