Elucidating Questions

It’s funny

I remember him saying so clearly

One day you will fear me

And I told him that wouldn’t happen

Like a child

But it did

And it’s with a twist of regret

Because I felt such love there

And still do

I no longer feel jealousy when others face him

Even though I find myself disappearing into the night during the day

A remembered tone

A remembered moment

Twisted

It is twisted

I don’t know what caused it

I feel at home there

But I am so afraid of the process

So afraid of what my body can create to get there

I long to tell him it’s not him I’m afraid of but he is that so it’s not a thing you can separate

But I don’t feel resentment when the clock strikes the moment

Quiet love

Something I dare not call longing

Only to make me feel the more guilty I’m sure

These wiser than I’ll ever be

Older

Perhaps more tired

Faith is a strange creature

That it can come from nothing

I want to say thank you

For not laughing when I told you it would never happen