Elucidating Questions

There’s nothing like being told that life isn’t about you

When you already fucking know

Life is about productive people

And people with money

And friends

Life is about your siblings

Or your coworkers

Or anyone else

You think I went 10 years living in solitary and it didn’t fucking sink in that I am insignificant and alone and forgotten?

You don’t fucking think that going days hungry because the government can’t be bothered to pay me enough to survive off of didn’t hammer in that I’m unwanted and unneeded and inconsequential?

I know everything is more important than me

Imagine thinking you’re important

Imagine thinking anything is about you

Imagine, when you sit forgotten by your family in a chair you can’t get comfortable in and that stops your heart rate from dropping for months because “you’ll get used to it”

And thinking life is about you

These people must think I’m more insane than I am

To think I’m anything

Bullshit

I fucking hate people

I’m sick of this shit over and over again

Fucking internet

You think it’s funny and I don’t know why

But it doesn’t matter because we’re nothing

Oh you’re laughing because it doesn’t matter

Right

I hate our reaction to things

I hate our aloneness

How quickly it creeps up

It’s so easy to be swallowed up

Reminded how easily we could be forgotten again

Spending so much time being invalidated

Watching people live their lives around me while I play video games

Killing time until Time kills me

I hate how affected we are by everything

I hate that expressing how I feel is manipulation

I hate existing with other people

The number of people who have had a problem is far greater than those who haven’t

I wish I could exist in a place without anyone but us

Just us

And animals

Then I could never step on anyone’s toes

Then I couldn’t do anything that deserved reproach

I wish life was more like a video game

It’s so much easier to know what to say when it’s obvious

It’s so much easier to know what to do with quest markers

I’m just this being that’s here.

I’m just trying to relate to people

Badly

I guess

I wish no harm was done

I wish there was a way to attain th