Elucidating Questions

Happenstance fuck you for a moment

I’m trying to have a serious conversation here

Life is hard

We make it harder on eachother

One second you feel safe somewhere and the next you don’t anymore

When I feel emotions

Sometimes it feels like I’m exploding from the inside

But things like being safe

They slip away so easily

Just like that you’re just someone on the outside of it

Reduced to nothing and no one again

I’m rarely a first priority

But the ease with which I slip out of spaces has always broken my own heart

The difference between belong and don’t belong

It’s so easily traversed

I don’t want to be the person they want me to be

And I am nothing again

I wonder what it feels like to be right?

What it feels like to fit in?

Maybe they do understand

Maybe that laugh was understanding and not derision

Different from everyone else

Just kind of came into existence

I wonder why we’re here

Does anyone else listen for you?

Seek your touch?

Sometimes I feel like my existence is an insistance on others

I do not feel I fit in here even with my rage and my disappointment

How could a god’s child ever find themselves here?

Not good enough

Not hard enough

Where to fit?

I feel unknown

And like it will always be that way