Elucidating Questions

Why does everyone get to tear pieces from me and then go about their days?

I’m not over it

I say it hurts and they tell me it’s my own problem

It’s your own problem that the things I said in order to hurt you got to you

Responsibility

What even is that?

I’m being asked to take responsibility for my actions of daring to be disabled while people come into my life on the daily to tear pieces off of me

Why are they all immune?

It’s like they all have this poison and they’re spitting it everywhere

I’m saying please stop, this hurts, and they reply with “that’s your own fault”

Weakness is my fault

My weakness is my own fault

Does your heart tear daily for the struggles of others?

If my inability to defend from personal insults and attacks is a mirror of how my heart bleeds for this world

If you don’t feel things as strongly as me so my feelings are invalid

That means I get to say all your feelings which don’t come even to a percentage of what I feel mean nothing also

You feel nothing compared to me

Truly an NPC

I’m not a main character

But I’m here in this world

Self aware

Awake

Bleeding my heart into the Universe praying something works because I am an insignificant pea in a world of mattresses

But this pea knows that the mattresses are fluff brains that have led our world into disrepair and despair

So, fine, if my big emotions don’t matter

Then what the hell is that tiny ass sad excuse for an emotion you’ve got?

I wish for every person who comes into contact with me negatively to have the exact same day I do

Every day

The same dreams

The same struggles

Get a chronic illness

Lose everything and then spend your lonely days living with your parent (because you can’t afford rent) being mocked by strangers on the internet

When you’re at your last wit

I hope you never find a job again because you’re too broken to be good enough for society but not valid enough a human being for benefits to cover living

Join me in my mental anguish

You deserve it just like I do