Elucidating Questions

I don’t even know what I did

But she’s been speaking poison at me all day

People always tell me I’m ugly like it’ll be a shock

What’s the shock is having someone say something mean

And I already am battling

My Fox Goddess is gone

And I am drowning in Chester, and Avicii, and Ashley, and Mikaila

And people are just being mean

That’s it

Just mean

I express an opinion and they attack me as if I’ve said something vile

By saying vile things themselves

Desperate and horny to wallow amongst the lowest of human communication

I don’t like saying things that hurt people 

I only say them when I’m feeling hurt myself

Trying to stop doing that

I thought I was supposed to be quick to anger and irrational

I feel beaten down right now

I wish I knew what happens when you die so I could just kill myself and not be afraid

So many people on this planet have hated me

I was commenting on how we know so many more names than our ancestors did on their tiny villages where everyone was related just a bit and sometimes a lot

My head feels so full of hate for myself

And people just keep pouring it into me

I just want the world to be a better place

But it always feels like the most powerful way I could do that is by removing myself