Elucidating Questions

It’s hard being evil.

Because I don’t want to be.

But my only feedback is that I’m an awful person

No one ever tells me I’m a good person

So it can’t be true

And I just really wanted to be good

From a tiny person who believed in Christianity and Jesus

Wanting to do what was right

It’s not possible

I think I’ve had hundreds of people call me evil

I could probably count on one hand the number of genuine compliments I’ve received about being decent

Not good enough

Never good enough

I want to cease existing in these moments

I don’t want to hear about how awful I am anymore

People are only good for tearing me to pieces

No one ever wants to build me up

I want to go home

I assume home is a place where I’m not judged for my inability to be perfect

Not good enough

Never enough

Always too much

It infuriates me that I’m both

I want to disappear

But disappearing is my greatest fear

I apologise for my continued existence

I’m too much of a coward to do anything about it