Elucidating Questions

The more I learn about people the less I understand

Today apparently the lesson is “if no one asked for help don’t offer solutions to a problem”

Which just goes back to this sick thing I’ve observed in people around me that as long as they are okay and you have a problem they’ll watch

Watch and see you suffer

And when they get bored they’ll leave

Like it’s a television show

Like struggle is content for those around

And isn’t it true that people will gather about someone having a mental health episode, call the police, watch people on the worst days of their lives

And judge

And then get bored and walk away

They’ll stare openly at that guy camped out in his sleeping bag in a store entry way

Just some entertainment

Some trauma porn

Look at that other person struggling I’m going to watch it like I’m concerned

I’m convinced they enjoy it

If there was a god that made humans

Made them duplicitous

I’m convinced they call out some extreme psychopathy to hide their own

What did humanity do to become this ugly creature?

Capable of so much love, when it will get them something

Yet capable of such callousness on a whim

I think we are a mirror of our god

The Universe

Chaotic

Twisted

But I think we diverged

The Universe’s twisted chaos is beautiful

It creates the most wondrous things

Destruction in the Universe’s hands is beautiful, wild, it represents rebirth, the never ending possibilities of what they our Creator of Nature made for us

A billion possibilities in one single explosion

But the destructive nature of humanity is cold

It is not creative

Like green

It’s an afront to what Natural destruction is

The forest fire ravages the forest, so that the soil can be enriched and grow new

Systems of the Earth feed into each other in this elegant dance

But human destruction ends things

Just a callous end

There’s no “they died and then became a nebula”

We just destroy

They just return, filled with plastics and chemicals, to the Earth

Sometimes I feel like this place was designed to irritate me

A billion problems I can’t solve

Blessed with neither the self worth nor the power to do anything about it

Musing in darkness on the web about how these creatures that claim to be people make me feel

If I’m not a person

How did any of you Nature’s Rejects pass?

I see people walking among them who I try to believe are real

They often prove me wrong

Just another passerby

Just someone who wanted to watch me struggle long enough to get their jollies and then leave