Elucidating Questions

I don’t want to go back to finish moving things that will disappear into the garage forever

I don’t want to go back

Face the emptiness of the space

Not a home anymore

A place I once lived

It is past tense now

Like my sister is past tense

And like with how they’ve erased her from all speech

How I’m the only one who seems to remember her

I want that place to disappear into my memories

I want to pretend I never left this house

The space has been trying to entice me

Hummingbirds and Sunsets

Thunderstorms and stars

Look they’re all in the perfect position

It is loud and I can’t sleep

The city screams with the pain its oppressed citizens do not speak

It is so wrong to speak out in pain because they are all pretending they are not

I can hear birds

But they are not the mix there was before

There are tits

I suppose I should speak my gratitude amongst my anxiety

I have walls

And my animals

I am not comfortable but I have somewhere to go

That is more than so many have

My father doesn’t have the anger he used to

He still angrily bangs around the kitchen

But he loves his cat

He has a cat

An animal he doesn’t resent

The Bible study shit is mind numbing

Oh God we know you’ll fix everything one day and we’re your humble servants and we submit to you and blah blah blah

Jesus save me from your followers

Save me

But I’ll be okay

That stupid fire in me

If I just make it to midnight

Just make it to midnight again