Elucidating Questions

Is it so strange that I don’t break?

That was aggressive

Others have been through worse

I should be able to handle everything coming at me

And I know I’m not them

Maybe I enjoy struggling

I don’t think I do

Untamed

That’s it

I may be broken, actually

Who knows

But it’s that fire I can’t explain

Did my genetic predispositions for physical strength manifest as this… This flame that reignites?

And I hate competition

No I guess I like competition that doesn’t end in tears and blood and sacrifices no one should have to make

Too violent

Barbaric

Upon which I should apologise to the Barbaros who just couldn’t fucking speak Greek

No word to say something mean didn’t come from originally saying it to someone who didn’t deserve it

So many negatives

If I could hear you it’s your own fault and not mine

So many problems at once

This nightmare of reality

To the Stars I said

The Universe, you guys, them (the planets)

You’re pretty great

But this little pocket of reality

It is a nightmare

If I knew I’d wake up from life maybe I’d be willing

Hmm

Weeks without a whisper and here’s the third

Who’s going to hold me up?

Angels and gods?

Mysterious moments?

I can’t do it

Miracles are something great people perform

Nothing

No one

And where is You exactly?

If only it was as easy as believing

Just fly

These stories of friendship and love don’t hit the same anymore

It feels like my life ended when I was diagnosed and I like stretched it out for a bit, refused to let go, then I got the second diagnosis

Nails in the coffin

Now I don’t know what I’m doing

And the world is ending

And people need someone to take charge and do something about it but the culture wars have divided the working class as intended

They just fall for everything

Every single time

Forgetting you exist should have made it better

Why does every day teach me of some new hell the humans have committed?

It’s so disheartening

And I’ve got my little cheer leader, Japanese media, to keep me going but hope is hard to hold when humans hinder harmony

I miss English

It’s fun to play with

Japanese is like that classically trained musician employing all the ancient techniques to be respected and dressed up for,

English is like a kid you know you play with sometimes and weird shit happens because kids are weird but you’re okay with it because they’re kids

Their imaginations are boundless

I just miss it.

Man, my life is in shambles

Thanks Dan